Forever And Ever

i know that u kept challenging me

2011-10-02T10:24:00.002+08:00

so much things is going on at the same time.
cant sleep. cant even wink.
work. home. love. are all so screwed up.
wheres the balance sheet.

i just want to SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
whats the unfair treatment for!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fuckup work

2011-10-02T10:17:00.003+08:00

oh my god.
job is a bitch. cant stand it!
is someone who quits, a loser!?
its fucking hell daily!
HOW! hate it!
its up to oneself to decide to leave isnt it!
can just simply throw the letter! anytime! anywhere! anyhow!
fucking asshole. what to do!
even vulgarities coming out so frequently!
if chosen to stay, a great plan is needed!
SOS!

make money falls for me

2011-06-22T18:51:00.002+08:00

thirty five thousands.
well done.
im always sure ure capable of doing it.
so your loan eventually becomes ours.
dont try to act shit. the more i want to kick your ass.
implicating others is the last thing i wana do.
and im really envy of those with cliqueing siblings.
those who share bedtime stories.
those who share clothes.
those who share thoughts.
what i have from you, are all your dirty laundries.
i really wish.
i was a single child.

i HATE u!

2011-06-22T10:15:00.002+08:00

oh god kill me.
i dontknow if i will kill her or not.
haa. ridiculously putting this on blog.
but i just want to rant it out.
theres nobody there to listen.
they all cares for you bitch.
and u ruin every little good thing that i nurture earnestly.
i hate their grumpy faces. and the smirky look of urs!
i hate their lifeless attitude.
i hate to be where i am right now.
give me hall back. i want to leave here.
this ghostly feeling makes me not want to come back.
i so dont want to turn to god.
anyone of them die makes the situations bad.
only when i die. im free.

insidious me

2011-06-04T23:29:00.004+08:00

alright. im back.
dear bloggy.
dont think this is jealousy. neither is it sensitivity.
but it does create uneasiness and upsetting feel.
truly sincere friendship going to a waste. gone i mean.
how much more can one define. how benevolent can one be.
reciprocation does not always reciprocate.
if you get what it means. move on.

why do one escape.
escape to where shall be asked. but not told.
nowhere can take you to a perfect world.
perfection is up to you to adapt.
despice is all that you gain.
i wish i have super powers overnight.

22 april !

2011-04-18T22:40:00.002+08:00

darling!! its 19th tomorrow!! woo! anyway. my phone died on me. super disappointing and upsetting! especially when its close to you coming back. ugh. so hard to manage. well. work is tough today. tiring too. but im looking forward to the weekends. i hope u have them all planned. =)

week 1 done.

2011-04-10T00:07:00.004+08:00

hmm. the first weekend without. quite a tiring week. with the heavy downpour and strong scent of durians. good to have parents to lunch with. and work of cos. thats my sat. without. lots of misses and dizzes. coupled with tom365. goodnight baby.

silent night

2011-04-05T23:22:00.002+08:00

the place. that is filled with memories. memories of those that would be better off not remembering. as it is. living silently in the hearts of those who care. that is then, the hereafter. -------------------------- missed. cbr.

just for dad

2011-03-20T20:21:00.004+08:00

if i could
i really will.
now that you made me no choice
ive to dish out every single cent for you.
yes in the name of yours
to clear dark clouds among you two.
ive my limits too babe
but u seem to see only yours.
i really loathe you.
someone. tell me what else to do.
someone. give me the strength to do.
someone.

UNI

2010-11-23T00:06:00.002+08:00

went back
to recollect
to feel what has lost
to understand what was done
to face what ought to
to move on
to lift the lie
to bid farewell

will you?

2010-11-22T00:15:00.000+08:00

if i could turn back time,
will i do the same thing again?

OFF!

2010-11-15T12:08:00.002+08:00

a sweet wedding. a heartwarming gathering.

summed up my off days.

it has been great meeting up with friends and sharing laughters.

parts of life that is unerasable.

steady

2010-10-10T02:18:00.003+08:00

moving on to a new phase
filled with gitters and anxiety
gritting teeths and clenching fists to face potential threats
gona be even stronger than what you expect
proves you that my degree is worth and so am i
this is not going to kill
as the fighting will be strong

beaming 9 months

2010-09-19T01:25:00.004+08:00

its magical knowing how fast time passes and how wonderful things are being brought to a higher level
sometimes it gets hard and harder
while all that needed was a little time to reponder
to reflect to rekindle and accept
this is happiness

HANG on

2010-09-07T21:56:00.003+08:00

i dontknow if i should appreciate what im doing
cos i dont seem to be as happy as in the past
nor am i enjoying what im doing

should i give up my work?
or is it just a freshman feel right now?

I just feel lk knocking some senses into your head!

2010-08-08T01:55:00.003+08:00

oh shit.
why are those bastards still around!
just because they are blessed with better looks &/or more wealth and they think they can dominate others?
wtf!
these people do not even know how to love! needless to say, be true!
devils stop going around hurting innocent hearts!
just feel like going over and smack you assholes!
love isnt about you, yourself and still you! if so, marry yourself la!

whatever belongs to u will come to u
whatever does not, will never be yours, and will always live with regrets of not having u.

uncut scene

2010-07-31T02:03:00.002+08:00

sorry. neglected u due to iphone.
somehow iphone has no access to u.
and true enough, i lost the only method to allow explosion to take place, in words.
somehow things are getting complicated.
the feelings thinking beliefs still the same, but not the person.
dont demand for explanations, cos nothing comes out is pleasing to ears.
dont question, cos theres no right or wrong.
things change people change
synchronising the hearts is difficult
u need lies to cover lies
but sometimes its good to use it to mask the ugly truth

graduate lo!

2010-07-18T10:42:00.003+08:00

the moment of confirmation
brings life to lives
brings smiles to laughters
brings friends to family

it was great
but definitely could be better
if you are around

MY life!

2010-07-08T21:43:00.003+08:00

its all fucking irritating! troubling! pressurising!
i know what i want but i dont know if i can do it!
freaking monster haunting the place!
messed up the area and fussed up every corner!
im feeling dirty! real dirty!!
every single item just make me feel dirty!
i wana get rid of it!!!
even so commencement on mon, i cant feel any happier!
fuck! theres so many questions in mind!
who can answer them for me! i want the answer sheet!
hate waiting for things to happen or expecting predicted situations to happen.
it just FML!

heavy heart

2010-06-20T20:54:00.002+08:00

indescribable

let work be my second love

2010-06-14T00:23:00.001+08:00

really wish u are here
or at least a phone call away
but freedom is so strict for now
and that definitely makes heart grows founder.

life is going to be different
but love isnt.

bank

2010-06-10T00:33:00.003+08:00

finally, in exactly one month's time, i signed my first letter of appointment.
excited yet feeling the jitters.
hope every weekdays end fast.
so are the months.
because im counting down..

i miss you

meow

2010-06-07T00:43:00.002+08:00

my sweetest and dearestest,
never fail to make me so loved;
even when you're miles away.

mind over body but mind is all about u

2010-06-04T22:49:00.003+08:00

at least there's one thing to let me smile about
employed =)
getting present for my darling in one mths time!
and by then, 3mths left to go.
hopefully with the work, i will have lesser time to feel depress.
i guess this is the hardest moments i ever have.
maybe thats why people say its magical.

crawling like a toddler

2010-06-04T13:17:00.002+08:00

okies sad. if u can see through me.
im trying really hard to fight back the emotions and thoughts.
trying to keep myself occupied as well.
but everytime im left myself to either go for interviews, or simply lying silently on bed at night, i cant help but to recollect.
well, honestly didnt expect to be affected this bad, but i guess it just re-affirmed my feelings and love.
i hope time flies. only after these, i can sense that they really fly.

i need luck. please.

2010-05-20T13:38:00.001+08:00

im freaking nervous!!
cos i want this so badly!
and i think, just like examinations.
when u really want to score well, u feel exceptionally nervous right!
oh man.
the butterflies in the stomach is making me having diarrhoea.
alright, i know, its just me.
wish me luck please!

majority of crosses

2010-05-16T19:32:00.002+08:00

always wonder
infact still wondering
was it all a chance of mistake
happiness is outweighed by the otherwise
running out of reasons to convince
living on a defensive mode
letting others know that
choices make decisions change
blame it on the wrong belief
the wrong time and the wrong place

a step towards the wrong direction

2010-05-11T23:49:00.000+08:00

i choose not to care anymore
u just dont get it

never enough

2010-05-11T23:02:00.001+08:00

is it enough? or is it not?
cant balance.
cant understand.
cant accept.
thats all.

the freedom i smell

2010-05-09T03:09:00.004+08:00

the very last night
im sure it is
quiet room with my itunes on
dim lights and nice scene outside the windows
a small little corner where i used to hide
away from the troubles at home
and here i am for the last time
thanks sheares
it was a great hideout
love the comfort the familiarity the people the way of life here
wont regret being part of the block c history
and all the ups and downs ive teared here
love is so strong now

the tears that melts

2010-05-03T01:30:00.001+08:00

woah its a lot
and im overwhelmed and surprised
im still unfounded
and glad that it did happen

for liking you

2010-04-28T22:28:00.004+08:00

why cant i be more self centred!
why do i need to even care if u care!
why should i be thinking of initiating!
i hate myself

pl3ase stop stop stop

=)

2010-04-28T12:43:00.001+08:00

i still dont like you
bitch

retard

2010-04-26T16:20:00.000+08:00

i didnt feel so much when u first told me
but im feeling so much now

emo

2010-04-16T01:07:00.001+08:00

im with nothing left
maybe only those who truly cares

its me or u

2010-04-14T08:55:00.000+08:00

selfish people make me sad

do something or let them be

either or

2010-04-13T23:25:00.004+08:00

money money money
is so funny
in TLL's world

this is good and the best that i can ever find
no surprise

self convinced

2010-04-06T23:02:00.001+08:00

yar right
this is what i want to achieve
-

someone give me strength

hmm

2010-03-26T02:36:00.001+08:00

something's wrong
havent figured out

deep deep

2010-03-19T01:49:00.000+08:00

this is too much
=)

how much

2010-03-15T01:06:00.003+08:00

i know u said and will say again that i'll never understand
yet you'll never understand either
do u see that im sandwiched between
neither do i want to hurt and i've a mind of my own too
but u just made my stance even harder to be
and seriously torn apart

always all the time

true colors

2010-03-11T21:36:00.003+08:00

why do people became selfish all of a sudden?
or was it an innate behavior that was simply masked previously?
its freaking irritating especially when it happened to your close friend whom you thought would understand you and help you when in need.

i thought good deeds beget kindness.
whole lot of bullshit it is.
=_=

breakkk

2010-02-27T01:02:00.003+08:00

am i wrong again?
i should hav heed yr advice
and its my fault
for everything that flows
i caused them to happen

so its just another mistake
just one more
it wouldnt hurt that much does it
yet again proven wrong
i hate my decisions
i hate my idealistic thinking
i hate myself

wrong

2010-02-26T17:58:00.000+08:00

hate it hate it hate it
so much that i wana turn back time
please

2010-02-26T15:06:00.004+08:00

sometimes im really grateful for your existence and your appearance
yet other times u make me feel that it would be better if i have never met you

its just as sucky as the weather

bad

2010-02-26T01:00:00.003+08:00

if only i could
just off the switch
and numb those senses
i'll be happier..

but sometimes
life is meant to be sad
and thats why hearts broken
tears flow
memories kept..

yet my life still moves on
and i dontknow if im really happy..

diminshing

2010-02-20T18:03:00.001+08:00

what happens if i cant work this out ?

i never change

2010-02-16T00:20:00.001+08:00

ure misinterpreting me.
not the other way round.

stands

2010-02-11T12:03:00.003+08:00

buy wad cannot be bought
dont buy wad can be bought

others

2010-02-10T01:06:00.000+08:00

is it too much to ask for ?
or is it too early ?

2010-02-06T19:30:00.001+08:00

sometimes i wish..
we've never met

L

2010-02-04T23:33:00.001+08:00

that is something for you to keep
its forever
but once u let loose of it for too long
and take it for granted
then the renewal is subjected to changes
and everything will be different
in either the good or bad ways

TP

2010-02-03T23:56:00.002+08:00

when the corners of the eye speak
the heart beats louder
and everything else seems invisible

its just me

2010-02-02T01:09:00.001+08:00

sometimes
u dont seem to understand..

or is it most of the times?

love and be loved

2010-01-28T02:03:00.001+08:00

there is nothing more i can ask more.

love strong muscles

2010-01-26T01:12:00.001+08:00

i need strength
from you
constantly
desperately..

up level

2010-01-25T00:52:00.000+08:00

mmmmmm.. nice talk!

how can i stop being scared?

Pass

2010-01-22T02:08:00.001+08:00

is it wrong to think this way?
just as i thought this is so important, a life challenge came.
unexpectedly, (especially) due to recent change of thoughts, i contradict my belief twice.
my heart thinks this is not good but inevitably, we all know in reality without it u cant survive.
so how deep are u going to put me to the test?

not a saint. never a saint?

zero expectation

2010-01-17T22:24:00.005+08:00

darling has a mate today called sweetheart!

but sweet thinks that today tomorrow or the day after is just another day.

cannot be saddded any much more

its not

2010-01-14T11:29:00.002+08:00

still feels hurt -
a pinch of bitterness needs 10 000 of sweets to heal

my big family

2010-01-10T00:41:00.003+08:00

woah.
uncle sam's tears touched me.
im sure he was touched too. =)
so glad everything went as expected.
and we all had good food, company and fun!
simply love the way we live.
isnt it great to put trival matters behind and move on like a big family.

LOVE

wrong facts

2010-01-07T00:51:00.001+08:00

if u dont listen
then i will

N-S poles

2010-01-05T02:25:00.003+08:00

sensitivity sees huge differences
differences entails arguments and discrepancies
arguments lead to unhappiness
unhappiness means cease

how to truly understands?

four

2010-01-03T01:30:00.002+08:00

since we've all agreed
then let it be this for now
keep to it pls

didnt know it would be this hard to be a bastard

fresh

2010-01-01T09:22:00.000+08:00

no.
wad a way to start.

slapped.

imbalance

2009-12-27T23:16:00.001+08:00

sometimes yes
sometimes no
hopefully one will outweigh the other soon

a terrible eve

2009-12-24T23:02:00.002+08:00

the kids are innocent
so are their parents
nobody can choose where and when to be borned
i only wish i can help all instead of just one
why deny their chance of having a better life?

they just dont understand
so now i know where
my traditional thinking mentality comes from
that sucks

heart

2009-12-19T23:59:00.000+08:00

sweets!

hexagonal thinking

2009-12-19T12:20:00.004+08:00

still using
heart to reason
brain to feel

first

2009-12-18T11:41:00.001+08:00

theres no right or wrong they say
yet wads right when it felt a little wrong
a great deal indeed

fight

2009-12-16T03:13:00.000+08:00

feelings vs logic
heart vs brain

=)

hmm

2009-12-15T01:54:00.002+08:00

light soft n wet
continue saying
since
tangled yet loving it

happy birthday to dearest girls and my boy hamhams
miss!

remind me

2009-12-14T02:13:00.000+08:00

the wind blow the conversation away
reconsidering..

middleman

2009-12-12T01:41:00.002+08:00

so it has both and everything but still
it seems like there is something more and better out there
even the family and the bone make up a huge part
then sometimes its so surreal
that i force it to feel falsified

now showing

2009-12-10T22:37:00.000+08:00

and they only happen in the movies..

feel

2009-12-07T21:37:00.000+08:00

why am i always the one feeling this way
and never you

love and hate

2009-12-03T07:28:00.003+08:00

amazingly still surviving
seeing the light in the chosen path
have always knew everything is meant to be
for you have to realise your way of life
even when it crosses others
or left them
its all so disimilar now yet
loving economics like never before
breathe the air of disappointment
rather than meet the face in disguise
still
its time to drink to fly

i hate u!
freaking piece of shit.
your name sucks as much as your personality!
are u sure youre a man?
i see u worse than an ant!
with that comment of yours
i want you out! low EQ!
someone can actually piss me off
fucking irritated.

2009-11-30T09:47:00.003+08:00

爱你是我人生最幸福的事

thats the dumbest thing i heard

我喜欢

2009-11-30T02:41:00.002+08:00

我喜欢这样跟着你
随便你带她到哪里
你的脸慢慢贴近她
明天也慢慢地慢慢亲近
我喜欢你爱她的心
我知道她也爱你的心
不要忘记你对她说的承诺言语
但也不要就因为这样儿离开

too late to discover

2009-11-28T18:50:00.002+08:00

im loving it and really dont want it to end
many people would wana slap me if i tell them that
but this is my second last time
and i truly appreciates the beauty of acquiring knowledge
and putting education as a top priority in life now
in a blink of a sem
my priority has to change
and im not ready for that

my abilities aint high enough to stop the clock
all i can do is to remember everybit of these feelings
and keep them as what people calls,
sweet memories

known unknowingly

2009-11-28T08:18:00.002+08:00

it doesnt matter what the dictionary says
or the wikipedia displays
what really matters is how your heart defines it

drop

2009-11-25T22:07:00.001+08:00

they flow in every room

lost 2 and still counting

bad start

2009-11-23T22:13:00.003+08:00

gone
i pray that i wont feel a tiny bit
i wish i can think logically

there's no rain today

2009-11-23T00:00:00.002+08:00

in the wrong state of mind
potentially ruining one's life
dont even know whats true and real now

i will give up everything and step myself away from you

221199

2009-11-22T00:26:00.003+08:00

everyday of this date
i remember the needles the lights the pain
then the coma and the scar
well, it has been 10years
and i still wonder
how am i going to tell people about it

if you dont matter

把爱放心里面

2009-11-21T01:03:00.003+08:00

其实我害怕会失去你的感觉
又深怕朋友默契转身不见
有懂我的你给我安慰
后悔这已不在的暧昧

你说的我都会相信
因为我完全信任你
我想说的是
大家都说你很好
我都知道
其实你只是对我没那么好

stupid

i wana marry money

2009-11-19T23:49:00.003+08:00

sometimes i cant help but thinks that im a liability
operation
braces
spectacles / contact lens
failed driving
and im sure theres many more illnesses to come
these haunt me since young and they really total up to freaking lots of money!
shouldnt someone like that just die?
much resources can be saved
furthermore,
im of no asset value.

in my eyes..

dont disappoint me

2009-11-16T22:12:00.002+08:00

i hope you have the strength and will
as no matter how tired we are
we never give up hope on you
i know thats fear
but it only gets worse if you back off
persevere and stand strong

the same problem
but without you to listen

completely opposite

2009-11-16T01:16:00.001+08:00

mummy says that was all out of anger

you're not helping at all

skipped

2009-11-14T02:18:00.003+08:00

the whole world can say it can it will it does
but only one heart doesnt lie
thats yours

all normal predetermined expected outcome can occur
to anybody anyone
but just not to this particular one

the eyes lied
the eyes were faked
the eyes the tears flow for

-numb

?

2009-11-13T22:23:00.001+08:00

i scare i get it wrong..

chemistry question

2009-11-13T02:24:00.001+08:00

looking at the general equilibrium
i really cant figure out the partial factors effect
could it be true?
could it be influenced?

which door?

2009-11-12T02:15:00.003+08:00

this is not gona go anywhere
slow please

and this can be too mean
to take

IT

2009-11-11T00:43:00.004+08:00

do u believe in what you see at first sight?
the second glance
then the third
the smile
then the laughter
then you dontknow how many times u wish to see it again

this is what i call the right time the right place the right person

a rainy dream

2009-11-10T00:37:00.002+08:00

actually i wondered why i did it
but i just did
hmm i hope this will just remain in my heart for awhile
like adding ketchup to my fries
a flavour when its blend
and cos its too good to be too true

i dont have many umbrellas

smile

2009-11-07T03:21:00.001+08:00

i take every strength
and every nerves
and every bit of mind
to put myself in place
again
im okies
=)

where my sympathy?

2009-11-07T00:02:00.004+08:00

how do u feel having the best of the both worlds?
as much as one can fill the bottles up to the brim
another can empty it with an unclear mind

i still dont understand why people club
or maybe i was not where i was supposed to be to feel the reason
fast and loud musics
colorful free drinks
make me wana be dumb once more

the mistake was made by me
never made it as a wise man

open secret

2009-11-05T23:40:00.002+08:00

why do people have secrets?
what is the message?
who is it hiding from?
why cant it be told to people?
what are the consequences of it leaking?

a secret remains a secret
only if u keep to yourself

woah

2009-11-03T02:37:00.001+08:00

an acknowledgement
an answer
a miracle

im sorry

2009-10-30T17:29:00.003+08:00

2years were the hours
confused with
the theory of friends
the theory of truth
the theory of you

maybe because it was close
it made it harder to leave
maybe because it was so much
it made it harder to empty

your disappointment
in all expressions one felt
threw one into the deepest sea
to sail to the isolation island
and repent

yours the one i hate to break