why contemplate

the tears that flow every week
it was excruciating then
yet memorable now and
glad it is over
and what we left behind
will remain in history
-the 28th

true

forever and ever and ever and ever
going to be forever and ever and ever and ever
more

good girl

thanks for the show
im watching it just like before
and im still feeling the same
all over again

i really wish i can do more
u know, i'll bless you

tagged - extra doormat

jus say and i'll take my leave
dont ignore me

tats too much to take


smiling with pain

i dont want

where have my confidence went ?
i was full of them when i was still in sj
but when uni starts
it became alien to me.

it wasnt a one day thing
it was a process of self examining and coming to realisation
and proof.. to the bottom i went.

thats when i first hurt so much
thats when i first cry so much
thats when i fall and allow people to help me up
first time having so much emotional display.

i need to get my confidence back
cos you dont need to be at the clouds
but at least be at the top of the trees.

thanks tzl. u encouraged me on this before.
and i want it so badly now.


tat someone else. i know i'll never be.

ord and wad's next

i can still rmb vividly almost a year ago..
right after 27th agm, sweared in as a 28th jcrc, my hall sis pasted heart-shaped love messages on my door. they were so sweet..
and subsequently, receiving lots of notes and encouragement from my hall bro, seniors and freshies.
ive kept many of the msges and of cos, my rally speech, pros & cons of becoming doha, and my vision mission and goals.
12sept08 was 28th jcrc first meeting, which was also the day i began to regret.
ive to admit. i became ultra vulnerable after stepping up. even to the extent that i nve expect myself to behave.
ive cried so many times before going for meetings. cried when someone encouraged and praised me. cried when someone calls me doha. cried when im alone. cried when im afraid. so much so much more..

20aug09 28th agm marks the official end of my term as sheares hall 28th doha.
i'll be named, the ex-doha.
on a happy note, im free of obligations. no more long meetings. and ive made really great friendships with fellow directors, who used to be strangers to me. i really appreciate this time that i had, to know them more and complete our portfolio together.
sadly, most of whom ive thanked during agm wasnt present. very disappointing. well, perhaps they were busy, or forgotten about it, or not thinking tat its important or simply phantoming. but still, i thank them from the bottom of my heart. for the times where im down, u guys raised me up.

so i rejected block com in year 1. rejected blockhead in year 2. and ended up as a director in jcrc.
like ive said, when it comes the 3rd time, its fate. wads yours is yours. theres always a reason to accept.
i just found out mine. =)


u might've forgotten, but i'll never.
your words were my strength.

bluff me

woah it still hurts
and i rather u lie