love is by choice, not by chance

when it comes to love,
i'm known to be positive.
i'm known to be strong.
i'm known to be talkative.

i really hope i have and did positively influence my friends.
love is just too magical to ignore.
i believe, and still believing, love is the closest thing to perfection.
i want my friends to have hope, faith and believe that one day, they can be the princess of their own fairytale too.
i can't explain why i have so much feelings for love. it's just a beautiful, loving and pure thought of falling in love. sometimes i feel like I'm a love angel :)

it is simply wonderful and magical it is for two strangers to come together, know each other, have mutual feelings, and CHOOSE to live their everyday with each other!
you chance upon a person. and you choose to love him.
love is a choice, not a chance.

isn't that beautiful enough?

i may not have much magical moments that sweep me off my feet,
plus im also a human and an emotional one,
i constantly remind myself to be positive, strong and speak about it.
if this doesn't work then another will.
someday, my mr right and i, will make the same choice.
and thats when i validate my belief.

a lot to go through in mind and spirit.
being a part of close family and friend's marriages does mess up my mind.
but, I'm ready.
ready to receive the challenge thats coming for me.
what could have been worst than missing you daily?

i choose to take it all as a lesson, an experience.
i dont blame you because i love you.
i miss you, i really do.

i hate myself, for still wanting to bless you in anyways i can.
standing at a distance, seeing you at a corner, i wish you all the best.

i miss you.

i really do.

maybe its the idea of having you.

maybe its my perception of you.

i teared and prayed.

i miss you.

there's no reason to everything

ended just as i expected.

no words to describe.

nobody to blame.

i was on the best self. the true self.

prayed for the days to stay.

prayed for the shooting stars to work.

prayed for the magic to work.

it all turned out only to be another joke.

i continue to believe in love, no matter how bad love is to me.

i continue to have faith, no matter how much setbacks you have for me.

because i know, someday, something kind will happen.

and will last.

I'm sorry, it has to be a sad ending.

nothing beats my effort and thoughtfulness for only you.

so let my tears bring them far far away. far away with you.

Breathe

please. give me a chance.
please. be gentle.
please. be nice.
please. 
can only hold on this much.

reality is too much to take.

for you.

the lesson learnt, is to not ask, not expect, not want and all will be fine.
as i laid beside, feeling a lil bit of bliss.
thats all i need to breathe.

life puts me through nightmare over and over again.
and i strongly believe its to make me learn the hard way.
tears may flow. heart may be broken. life goes on.
theres many other reasons to keep me smiling. 

after all,
practice (acting) makes perfect.

despite that, i still have the heart, that keeps you warm.
and thats just me.

you're lucky.

Be. Contented.

May i take this as a miracle?

I'm totally petrified.

Really scared that it's just another bubble that will burst unexpectedly.

There's really some alikeness, and chemistry.

I hope, and i pray for, it's mutual. 

Want it so much, that i dare not want it.

I'm really scared. 

Please. 

That's all i ask for. 

simple. love.

i knew.it

30 July 2014 - you knew it, don't you
_______________

Thank you.
Thank you for being a part of my one and a half years.
Countless of disappointments, unmeasurable amount of tears.
Unlimited self denial, unknown lies. 
However tough, i really thought we could pull through and was always holding on to a tiny glimpse of what we call, 'hope'.
I thought i knew you, in and out. No one knows better.
Until the day, my mind and heart zoned out. 

Thank you.
For the coincidental bump onto your other half.
For the unintentional hearing of your disgusting self. 
Honestly, no ladies should go through what i have just did.
I pray for all my girl friends to never experience this.
The feelings are just, worst than heartbroken.

God.
Thank you.
The second phase was horrible and i was not sure.
Somehow, i could feel your little help.
Thank you, Peace. Love. Life.
I need to move on.
I deserve the best for mysel

Thank you.
My dearest friends, M, F, CK, A, HC, C.
For those who know, for standing by me.
For those who don't know, for never asking.
This is really warming.
Please forgive me for being the me then.
Truly appreciate. Every single bit of kindness.

Thank you.
Ray.