good yr!!

oh. im engrossed with the show "prince who turns into frog" again! haha.
my sis FINALLY borrowed the vcd from her friend. oh man! im mesmerised by shan jun hao (mingdao)!! so charming!! undescribable.. hee. how i wish i hav this fairytale too.. i know it doesnt exist, but i still wish..
ok. went for tpss learning camp on 29th n 30th. went in as observer since we got no post due to academic reasons. but i ended up conducting lecture and footdrill sessions! well, i accepted the role of course. and luckily for that footdrill session, i managed to really DRILL the std1s up! haha. no no, std2 alredi! HAPPY NEW YR! =)
joanna, fatmah, vanessa, angela also came at night! really nice to meet up with all of them. though grace couldnt make it. i hope none of them giving sj up..
saw pialeong!! ooO.. hahaa! mesmerised again! but managed to get myself back to reality! hehe. after a short chat then went into meeting with my beloved tic, mdm sim. she's still the same. motherly motherly type. nice person larh, but can always improve! =)
cheewah, taytong, chee wai also came!! i felt so 'home' chatting with them! i missed that feeling..
we recalled loads of things that we had done when we were a cadet.. haha. eg. my whole std (except 1) left the sch before last parade becoz we were all mad with that 'sudden' wahweitong's scoldings! haha. std3 then. achievement seh!! hee.
fatimah, cherie and vanessa also came to see leslie's success! haha. miss them too!! i suddenly thought i was back to sec2 again when fatimah leslie were our instructors and wahweitong screwing us all da time! haha. sweet memories..
our conversation lasted till 2+am! then they went off. sweet things nve last? haha maybe.
i got into the study mood and studied bio at 230am in the canteen! haha. ended @ 4am but surprisingly wasnt sleepy! so went to disturb those sentry guards! hahaa. its corridor programme ok! =P
stayed up till 5am for firedrill. then 530am hweechin book out. once again, im alone.. but don worry. cheerful leeing nt lonely bcoz of my std4s (should be called sch leavers now)!! haha. sweet sweet. napped but couldnt sleep well.. i felt really really really.. insecure @ that time..
gregarious leeling nve want to be alone for long. haha. went to look for some souls to start my corridor programme again!! =P
had fun larh. seriously. and if i say i nve gain anything, that's fake!! i guess, everything's an experience. whether its gd or bad. i should just accept and love it! =)
book out @ 1130pm cause i'm having a xmas dinner tt night (remmber, till then i haven slp). so, rightfully, i've done my best to stay in the camp as long as possible, to provide my delicate service to meet their upmost needs. hahaha.
had dinner w my whole family(maternal) yesterdae!! all cousins sat @ a table. but obviously, one is being left out. had a wonderful time with them!! didnt get to meet up this yr end as some families went holidaying. but nevertheless, we gathered in the end! hee! joked and laughed till my muscles aching man! then went for movie @ 1115pm with them! its 'a chinese tall story' which they do direct translate to 'yi ge hua yu gao gao de gu shi'!! hahaa!!
shall not elaborate the details of the movie here. but i was feeling really fortunate then. to have such wonderful fantastic family! we had fun.. like there's no tomorrow. i hope u guys hav the same with ur family! =)

on my taggy,
fatmah: haha. i make sure i'll make good use of u! hehe. love u!!
jianwen: heyhey!! si jianwen? or chen? haha! happy 2006 too!! do patronise my blog often! =P
cherr: i know how u feel. but don worry. we'll meet up. don 4get our badminton training!
ziyang, kenz, sniff: hahaa! thank u guys!! happy happy new yr too!! a better yr ahead for all of us!! thx kenz. im too passionate. hahaa!! =P

good luck to freshmen that are turnin up to ur new sch tomorrow!!
i still remmber this strong meaning sentence that was given to me a yr ago,
'embrace the inevitables'
yes. so do u.
god bless. =)

corps oic dream!

hey hey. im back! thanks you guys for encouraging and supporting me while i battled to stand firmly on my sj ground! haha. and if you havent been showing yr concern for me, the tagboard is on the left! haha! =P
yea. i've decided to stay on despite the unhappiness and bitterness that i've tasted this past yrs in sj. (of course, there were sweet and tender loving care as well) its because, i realised i havent achieve what i've been yearning for since sec3! that is to be the corps oic!! no doubt its not going to be easy nor smoothly to reach there and do yr corps proud, but im determined to have a feel of it!
haha hilarious it may seems. an officer had told me that "the moment u get that post, u would wish that u could pass it to someone else." well, its true. afterall, when i reach there, will i be 25yrs old? haha! having other commitments definitely.
its jus my dream. and in order to do well and much much better than past yrs, i need the assistance and guidance from other corps officers as well as support and help from my standardmates and juniors!
haha. maybe im making this sentence too early. since i still have 3 seniors above me right now. i hope i can boost my morale again and motivate myself! im not creating insubordination by thinking big. =)
at least this way, i can comfirmed that im going to sign on! yes!

ok. for now, im gona listen to szeling and concentrate on my As next yr!! that is my upmost priority now. of coz, as much as i need yr help hweechin, i'll assist u as much as i can to make the BIG event successful!! and sniff sniff, yea man! i need more love! hahaa! need to cultivate more!! hahaa!! dun disturb me when im cultivating with someone else on course day k? hahahaaa!! and for fatmah, i guess u know the answer now. cont' to love me k? and probably i may need ur help when i attained the post! haha. =)

complements of the season! xmas eve & xmas

first of all, COMPLEMENTS OF THE SEASON to all!! had a merry merry christmas? its ok. u still have 12 more days! haha.
ok. shall not dwell on the 24th corps evaluation. a short summary/commentary of it:
it didnt turn out well. worse than what i've thought. i've seen the ugliest side of human - selfishness. i know the true side of all present. i was honest to all.
"commitment and passion. how do u weigh? and which is more important?" is the question that nobody can answer me. a passionate one cannot commit needs to leave?
requirements for an nco is needed. how about a volunteer?
trust. love. relationship. communication. are what that is all needed for our corps now. humans just detest changes. adapting may be tough. but its neccessary.
i just hate to see people leave and go. making decisions without informing the rest or even dropping hints. i must've been silly to trust u guys. made a fool out of myself.
ok. enough of it. though angela hweechin came over to my hse for count down, i didnt have a enjoyable xmas eve.

xmas day.
collected log cake and went over to xiao yi's place. invited angela hweechin along. had a sumptuous brunch! xmas tree was sparkling. loaded with presents below. chocolates filled the tea table. ate to my fill. drank little gin without jianhong and shengjie.
later, rushed to get presents for yi pin with charis and jasper. tampines was very crowed. discounts at all shops. wrapping services everywhere. took a crazy taxi down to serangoon chomp chomp. car sick and felt terrible.
saw yi pin approaching and she looks the same! i didnt send her off the other time so was really happy to see her again!! reached her place and haha vomited twice there! what a waste for all the delicious food that i ate at xiao yi's hse. haii.
still feel bad so left with junlong and ziyang after probably an hr there. vomited again on cab. luckily i had 2 plastic bags with me then. the taxi driver was funny! he asked "oh no! u drank? or took drugs?!" hahahaa!! i managed to giggle somehow and answered "no larh!! giddy! car sick!" $10 back to my house!! phew. so relieve to see my mum. then vomited again! haha..
so that's all for my xmas. bad eve and vomit 4times on xmas!! highest record though. thanks for the invitation and family and friends for your concern! im well now! ready for another ride! haha!

on the tag board:
for sniff & CHEOW, no need to say thanks. its interesting reading yr blogs. and understand yr corps. i do wish to prove them wrong. but i have not decided whether or not will i stay. if i stay, i'll face the same problem again with the same person, or even another. tok more to u guys on course day! yea, rock on! haha!
for fatmah, yes i agree. i used to think i love sj so much that i wont leave. but nw, i found out that im wrong. its my sec1s and 4s thats pulling me back. perhaps like wad i've said. i may nt stay any longer. thanks pal!
for yi pin, yea yea!! i love chilly crab man!! dip it with bread!! oOoOoo.. haha!!
for cherr, thanks man! im much much better now. eh? jan 11? wad time? celeb new yr??

and to all, best wishes!! =)

im awaiting for 24th!
not for xmas.
but for my corps meeting.
that includes my standard only.
its not something intriguing, fun.
a serious matter.

goodluck to phs corps!

bad

i always thought that my mdms and sirs who are grade5 or 6 (considerably high) would sign on for very long. since they're already officers. why not? but, i was wrong. many of them quitted last year. and most of them are very young (20yrs). why would they quit? other commitments? tough teacher-in-charge? uncontrollable cadets? boredom? its not gona be easy for me to say bye without turning back. i lost my resoluteness. xmas coming!! im going for gift exchanging with my sj mates n juniors! fun fun!!
its not that im proud. its not that im nice. its not that im good. its not that im clever. its not that im smart. its not that im perfect. its just that when people compare me with u, u see the difference? i appear wonderful. because u appear terrible. not that they've mistaken, u've shown it to them.
i dun deserve all that im suffering. all that i've endured through. for which i believe, u're the cause of it. u hurt me with words whenever im not prepared for them. and if i go on further, i'll make them upset. if i dun, i'll feel terrible. sometimes, sometimes i just have to lie. to myself.

sj gathering!

"refer to my email"
"check yr mail for more infomation"
"roger"
does it sounds robotic to u? oh man. there's this person sending msges to me in this manner! not only in smses, on msn too! can u imagine?!
this person has no feelings i guess.
such "creative" replies this person can think of.
is it so difficult to reply something like "tomorrow's meeting is cancelled. postpone to next week." ?? or send "can u attend the whole course? check the dates on my email." ??
don't u think it sounds better this way??
much friendlier!
does having a higher post, being higher up, makes one deviates from norm?
mostlikely in this case.
anyway, today had a sj meet with my stdmates!! angela, hweechin, joanna, grace, aaron, mark turned up! so glab to see aaron especially. think i missed his laugher, lame jokes, criticisms too much man! hahaa. things like "did i upsize my fries to a smaller one?" and "just go straight to the point!" made me burst into uncontrollable laughters!! of course, its with animations. haha.
we sat at cafe cartel for 3 hrs! gathering informations to fire, recalling all that we did as a sj cadet, complaining services and servings, gossiping abt lecturers, discussing magicians of diff countries, .... hahahaa. a gathering worthwhile!
shall meet again on 24th. xmas eve. bring gift everyone. =)
till then.

queensway (alexandra)

chiong 3 places today and bought nothing! went my sch (shut shutter) in the morning, then tamp sportshall (badminton was great!!), queensway (not alexandra), chinatown (og with all old women clothings), and changi airport (shocking toilet!)! enjoyable, fasinating, amazing trip i must say. can ask joanna. hahahaa.
ok. i've this bad feeling abt the 24/12 meet with my corps. is it going to turn out awful? i guess its all up to me. *oh my oh my* why me! hahaa.
im not going to leave. whatever it is. not now. not yet.
life is just so meaningful. im full of zest!