jianhong's leave.

waoh. finally im free from st john! haha.
saw van's leave application and decided to sign one too! that decision was spontaneous. no calculations or thinking twice was needed!
well. i went back tpss on friday reluctantly after sch. i was so un-eager to go and actually went to the toilet and waste some time there tieing up my hair neatly. then dragged my feets there very slowly. missing a few buses.
when i reached there, the feeling was complicating, confusing. i feel like i got no one, nothing to look forward to in the st john room (its where i'll first approach when i stepped into the sch). There is also no fun waiting for me. it was just so negative.
just as i thought, i feel so uncomfortable. even though fai, les, jz, xh were there.
im someone who needs friends to live. if u think im very dependent. that's true. i put my true friends on top of anyone (even family or myself). i admit that i continued my st john journey because of them as well. however, now that i dont see them coming for it (due to schwork and complicatedness of sj management), i choose to leave too. if i continue with this terrible feeling that i'm having, i might just hate sj one day. rather. if i take a break now, at least, i believe the next time im back for sj, i'll feel better and have more faith in it. its obviously time for me to hand over to my successors to do most of the jobs. and also, once a levels is over, perhaps my cliques will hav more time for sj too!
like i say, love those sj freaks! dinner with them at sakura was fantastic!! (joanna, chin, grace & van! too bad gela couldnt make it. if not, it'll be perfect!) not that the food was great, but the atmosphere was!! the laughters, gossips brought me back to my comfortest zone. that's why im so engross with sj. its bcoz of these mad ppl that i've met! (includes fat too!) haha.
alright. now i've friday all for school! hahaa!
and meeting u guys next sat yea!!
its the meetings/gatherings that i want! not sj.
=) well, of course, life in sj will be even worse w/o xh's batch & farhah's batch! love these ppl too!
stay committed though! but passionless.
oh no. just as i hate my birthday to arrive, my cousin's leaving for sydney again tonight (or tml's morning). hai. will only get to see him a year's time. sending him off at T2 later. he will definitely appear strong. but its tough. really tough to leave yr family friends country home. i hope he'll get on with his life there as soon as he reaches sydney's airport! goodluck!

tml's fri

it feels great when ms lee praised us today!!
she was so pissed with s21 (the class she teaches before ours), and when we came into the class, her face was black. to add on, she's sick. she went over to the window, stood thr for some time, then she tried to smile and say "good afternoon class". great effort.
then she went over to the door, stood there again (backfaced us), wiped her (i couldnt see, tears i suspect?) then act like nothing happens. i look into her eyes, then she says "eh? not crying. im just not feeling good." then she carried on saying "i feel so stress to teach ur class after s21" (because we're just too nice and she can't vent her anger on us) hahaa! yea. like wad charis says "our class knows when to talk, and when to stop." thats very true!
last wk, mrs neo also said she likes our class. we can joke with each other. "especially ka-lib (which is supposed to be pronounced as caleb)!" hahaa!! mispronounced. and she sustantiate with her reason (more like an excuse though haha) "whenever i say his name too quickly, it turns out to be ka lib." hahaa! is there such thing? mispronounce becoz u didnt think hard? funny man!
well. i loved these two tutors (chem & maths). of course, not forgetting another favourite of mine, ms leo! (bio). when ms leo laughs, she goes "hahaha" in a rather high pitch. hahaha!! and i can feel that she's really laughing genuinely! (that's bcoz she's usually serious when she's teaching) hahaa! cute!

tml's there a bom (board of management aka graduates of tpsjab) dinner at sakura. was actually looking forward to it since cny! (cause it was supposed to be on the first wk) but not anymore. worse still, bio spa on mond. was a day. will all of them turn up? joanna? angela? hweechin? van? grace? (my batch)

i treasure the feeling of awaiting my bday to arrive. but when its approaching, (nearer & nearer) im scared. i'll have to wait for another year to have that feeling again! and when its over, (next day onwards) everything is over..
will never forget the celebration i had4yrs ago. haha! that's long. but sweet memories. with my 2e3 gang! =)

bio spa skills C D

Table Sources of error
Calculations Limitations of measurement
Graph Limitations of procedure
Trend Improvements
Conclusion

val

valentine's day this yr is so dead.
recalled secondary's school ones - many classes set up stores to sell flowers, cookies, chocolates etc as their cip. canteen full of people selling and buying flowers. but i seen none in tpjc. the classes also had delivery services to help sent flowers to secret lover. and i remembered angela and me got a lot in 4e1! haha. because they were all from our beloved friends like xr, wk, jes, nie, xia.. so sweet! i always make use of this service to send gifts to justin toh! hee. however, i've seen none here.
well. my class was rather 'low' yesterday. ms lee and ms leo said "i thought im going to see lots of flowers in this class!" (meaning theres none). luckily it was a short day. haha. anyway, loads of thanks to jasp, junlong, ziyang for yr chocolates. thanks to nadia for the cookies, zhengyi for the china gift and kenneth for the bracelet!
didnt had time to prepare any gifts as i was focusin on chem spa (a level sci pract accessm) which is on today. yea, a level exam the day after valentines. wet blanket. worse still, another one for bio on my birthday! well, i really dont wish anyone to spend time on my bday though. get over with our exams first. this is the 1st time tt so many examinations going on on my bday!! (it used to be just a normal day of term 1) there's polys yr1 final examinations & bio spa!! wish u guys the best man!!
so many people are pissing me off. in sj i mean. people that are incompetent! stop wadeva u're doing! and get loss! and to those capable ones, u're the useful loads, do stay!!!
if only i can control peoples mind..
did he hav a wonderful valentines day..
no.. he's a dead person too..
ahahaha..

last day of newyr.

yesterday night was fantastic!
my sec1 cliques all gathered at weichong's house for steamboat! though it was a little disappointing without angela and qiuxia, the rest, jeanie, jeslyn, weibin, xuanrong, weekeat & sheldon made my night! it feels so great to see them and be with them again! just like 6yrs ago..
we joked jeslyn. laughed at weichong & weibin. kp about xuanrong. gambled. watched taiwanese show. soccer matches..
perhaps no1 realised that my birthday is approaching. but seriously, i feel so wonderful. thank you guys. for giving me such memorable night. its already a gift.
left wc's house with jeanie at 230am. haha! late? if not for my family gathering this afternoon. i probably would just stayed till morning. reached home and slept at 330am. that's late. but was still msging charis! haha. she has lots to ask about organic chem's rxns.
oh yah. on fri, went to collect junlong's bday badminton racket with the rest. glab that he likes it. or not? haha. he didnt give much expressions for me to tell. i hope he likes it! its from all of us!
after that, went back to tpss awhile to collect olevel results! not mine of course. my friend and juniors! guess they did fairly well. left with only 3more days to submit application for courses/schools.. this almost drive me real nutz last year. couldnt decide between tpjc, mjc or business admin. phew, i made the right choice afterall. haha.
went to meet qiuxia tt afternoon. she has changed. became quieter. or am i noisier? hmm. i guess everyone's changed. i became cheerful-er! hahaa. jcs friends are just so lucky. if they see my usual blackface. woo. scare them all off. haha! guess i learnt how to take life easily. lighten my weight.
after that, went bak to tpss again at 6pm. haha. im a sicko. well to accompany hweechin. yea yea. then went for movie 'fun with dick&jane'. in my opinion, its not worth watching. not as hilarious as i thought, since its jim carrey. or perhaps its just my mood. i wasnt in the right mood that time. was suddenly overwhelmed with sadness and disappointment when i re-entered tpss that day. sj's killing me. i love the people i made there. but i really hate to work there, with them.
knowing that more & more people wanting to quit sj just make me feel terrible. come to think, angela is right!
"when one reaches the top, he has nowhere to go but off, or go downwards." its true. just like how i wish my superiors are gone.
if i quit sj, will i lose the connection with my friends there? because i made really great ones. that's worrying me.
wadeva it is, my life still goes on. even like i dislike today's family gathering. i still've to smile. tough at first. but it gets use to it. then its good for both parties, for unaffecting their mood, and making my life better. perhaps u should too.

happy new year all! the year never ends! =)

snco pop 2005

hey ALL!
im back!! finally after 22 days. haha! well. this time round its not my monitor that fails me. its the cpu and the connection!! its not totally fixed though.
ok. highlight for these days shall be 24th senior nco training course passing out parade cum ceremony @ dhs on 21/1!
in da morning, whole course went running from dhs to east coast park jetty that stretches about 3k!! plus coming back, add up to 6km!!! haha!! fun though. just chiong and chiong. but i feel that though the run tests the cadets on their stamina, endurance, fitness, there is this lack of communication during the run. unlike something that we can do during road march, that is to chat, to divert attention. very few cadets cheer on our way up to the jetty. and lots on the way back. i feel that's becoz huawei asked them to plan properly what cheers/songs they going to sing. if not, guess they'll be even more exhausted and would probably keep their mouth open just for air!
oh yarh. i was the station master, meaning i hav to run before them! haha. it was also a test for me seriously. after long period of hibernating. pretty satisfied w my performance. hee. another 6k? =P
alright, i became medic as well for the run. bak @ dhs, saw chuiyee! so happy to see her!!! it jus reminds me of snco 2004. missed it! later, i took care of all the casaulties in the medic office. when lunch finally came, i helped one casaulty with her food. then we went to take course photo. just after my thought of going for my brunch (which i've missed), pialeong shouted for me. i thought to myself "woah! got good stuff for me? hehe!" (grinned) so i ran after him and to my surprise!! (more of a shock), a casaulty lying on a stretcher at an open space. yahh.. my new work was to take care of casaulty again!! and my goodness sake after he went away! i realised, my lunchbox is still lying intact in the medic rm!! "sad case, i've became medic" i grumbled. not only did i look after her with my eyes, i help to massage her feets as well ok. its tough at first, honestly, i didnt like it, but well, seeing them recover shortly after, gave me a sense of satisfaction too! along the way, i also gain tiny tiny tips. (haha. sounds a bit like self-convincing) oh yarh, not to forget, thanks hweechin for coming over to accompany the lonely me at that time!! haha. i was practically watching over her and looking at the grasses, cars, buildings.. of dhs hostel. =soon after, parade was going to start at about 4pm. and to my dearest stomach, im sorry, i've totally lost the feeling of hunger.
well, this pop and 2004's gave me a totally different feeling. not that i choose to feel this way, i even promised myself to wear a huge smile! but, i just have lots to comment about..
during buffet, i even got pissed to max by someone i regarded as officer! looking at other corps, same feelings and thoughts came back to me. "wah, they're so united. sit, eat and chat together.." is these superficial or real? hm. i believe ots just something my corps needs to learn. (some ppl just spoiled my appetitide even more! i have my 1st bite of the day at 615pm!)
oh man.. then i got pushed n pushed to take pics with my 2 idols by .. yar.. undisclosed.....!!! haha. well, i was shy larh!! totally. one standing on my left and the other on my right!! oh man.. "if only its..." hahaha! anyway, i dont know how some people spread the msg to my idols!! im not that desperate!! dont convey the wrong msg to them! hahaa. anyway, thanks guys! i'll frame the pic up! muhahaa!! no larh. jus memory.
left dhs by running under the rain using our uniform cover to cover our heads. (that's why i fall sick now!!) and on da bus30, chatting w the newly promoted sgts.. cool to know new stories.
oh, and the "best" thing that can happen at that time is, on bus 18, hweechin and me stood up and prepare to alight on our stop, we were shocked that the bus didnt stop!! hahaha! guess what!! we didnt press the bell!! oh man.. so in the end, i got to walk a longer way home..
isnt it saddening?

good yr!!

oh. im engrossed with the show "prince who turns into frog" again! haha.
my sis FINALLY borrowed the vcd from her friend. oh man! im mesmerised by shan jun hao (mingdao)!! so charming!! undescribable.. hee. how i wish i hav this fairytale too.. i know it doesnt exist, but i still wish..
ok. went for tpss learning camp on 29th n 30th. went in as observer since we got no post due to academic reasons. but i ended up conducting lecture and footdrill sessions! well, i accepted the role of course. and luckily for that footdrill session, i managed to really DRILL the std1s up! haha. no no, std2 alredi! HAPPY NEW YR! =)
joanna, fatmah, vanessa, angela also came at night! really nice to meet up with all of them. though grace couldnt make it. i hope none of them giving sj up..
saw pialeong!! ooO.. hahaa! mesmerised again! but managed to get myself back to reality! hehe. after a short chat then went into meeting with my beloved tic, mdm sim. she's still the same. motherly motherly type. nice person larh, but can always improve! =)
cheewah, taytong, chee wai also came!! i felt so 'home' chatting with them! i missed that feeling..
we recalled loads of things that we had done when we were a cadet.. haha. eg. my whole std (except 1) left the sch before last parade becoz we were all mad with that 'sudden' wahweitong's scoldings! haha. std3 then. achievement seh!! hee.
fatimah, cherie and vanessa also came to see leslie's success! haha. miss them too!! i suddenly thought i was back to sec2 again when fatimah leslie were our instructors and wahweitong screwing us all da time! haha. sweet memories..
our conversation lasted till 2+am! then they went off. sweet things nve last? haha maybe.
i got into the study mood and studied bio at 230am in the canteen! haha. ended @ 4am but surprisingly wasnt sleepy! so went to disturb those sentry guards! hahaa. its corridor programme ok! =P
stayed up till 5am for firedrill. then 530am hweechin book out. once again, im alone.. but don worry. cheerful leeing nt lonely bcoz of my std4s (should be called sch leavers now)!! haha. sweet sweet. napped but couldnt sleep well.. i felt really really really.. insecure @ that time..
gregarious leeling nve want to be alone for long. haha. went to look for some souls to start my corridor programme again!! =P
had fun larh. seriously. and if i say i nve gain anything, that's fake!! i guess, everything's an experience. whether its gd or bad. i should just accept and love it! =)
book out @ 1130pm cause i'm having a xmas dinner tt night (remmber, till then i haven slp). so, rightfully, i've done my best to stay in the camp as long as possible, to provide my delicate service to meet their upmost needs. hahaha.
had dinner w my whole family(maternal) yesterdae!! all cousins sat @ a table. but obviously, one is being left out. had a wonderful time with them!! didnt get to meet up this yr end as some families went holidaying. but nevertheless, we gathered in the end! hee! joked and laughed till my muscles aching man! then went for movie @ 1115pm with them! its 'a chinese tall story' which they do direct translate to 'yi ge hua yu gao gao de gu shi'!! hahaa!!
shall not elaborate the details of the movie here. but i was feeling really fortunate then. to have such wonderful fantastic family! we had fun.. like there's no tomorrow. i hope u guys hav the same with ur family! =)

on my taggy,
fatmah: haha. i make sure i'll make good use of u! hehe. love u!!
jianwen: heyhey!! si jianwen? or chen? haha! happy 2006 too!! do patronise my blog often! =P
cherr: i know how u feel. but don worry. we'll meet up. don 4get our badminton training!
ziyang, kenz, sniff: hahaa! thank u guys!! happy happy new yr too!! a better yr ahead for all of us!! thx kenz. im too passionate. hahaa!! =P

good luck to freshmen that are turnin up to ur new sch tomorrow!!
i still remmber this strong meaning sentence that was given to me a yr ago,
'embrace the inevitables'
yes. so do u.
god bless. =)

corps oic dream!

hey hey. im back! thanks you guys for encouraging and supporting me while i battled to stand firmly on my sj ground! haha. and if you havent been showing yr concern for me, the tagboard is on the left! haha! =P
yea. i've decided to stay on despite the unhappiness and bitterness that i've tasted this past yrs in sj. (of course, there were sweet and tender loving care as well) its because, i realised i havent achieve what i've been yearning for since sec3! that is to be the corps oic!! no doubt its not going to be easy nor smoothly to reach there and do yr corps proud, but im determined to have a feel of it!
haha hilarious it may seems. an officer had told me that "the moment u get that post, u would wish that u could pass it to someone else." well, its true. afterall, when i reach there, will i be 25yrs old? haha! having other commitments definitely.
its jus my dream. and in order to do well and much much better than past yrs, i need the assistance and guidance from other corps officers as well as support and help from my standardmates and juniors!
haha. maybe im making this sentence too early. since i still have 3 seniors above me right now. i hope i can boost my morale again and motivate myself! im not creating insubordination by thinking big. =)
at least this way, i can comfirmed that im going to sign on! yes!

ok. for now, im gona listen to szeling and concentrate on my As next yr!! that is my upmost priority now. of coz, as much as i need yr help hweechin, i'll assist u as much as i can to make the BIG event successful!! and sniff sniff, yea man! i need more love! hahaa! need to cultivate more!! hahaa!! dun disturb me when im cultivating with someone else on course day k? hahahaaa!! and for fatmah, i guess u know the answer now. cont' to love me k? and probably i may need ur help when i attained the post! haha. =)