locate direction

its so hard to be right

almost

havent seen rainbow for a long long time
not that it hasnt been raining
but raindow hasnt been showing
or is it not to me?

i smiled. did you.

not learning at all

how long do u take to realize
how long do u take to respond
and how long do u take to accept
is late really better than never
or its plain too late

no matter how loud inside me is screaming
ive got to do whats needed
faking like i know a lot
faking like im freaking concern
faking like i dont matter

take the responsibility away from me
as i seek my own
as i try to handle those at hands
as i strive to be who i wana be
by 21

dont assume
dont think
dont lie

im trying to pretend. to act. to lie.
my cutie pies..

never say

gone for the good. to see no evil.

but its only temporary.

no excuses. no reasons. no more to tell.

afraid still. for whats underneath. yet to be discovered.

no anticipation. no imagination. no fascination.

just degradation.

i smiled because of you

frosty

so even if it was just a shake, its still a touch.
one that makes your heart skipped a beat.
one that freezes you and everyone around.
silly it sounds
yet everything is so biologically physiologically surrealistic.

if replacement really makes one feels better,
it also does make another feels worse.
if being forgetful is minor,
how about being forgetfully ungrateful?

if magic really exists, i will make one for you.
its all about you being happy that matters.

blocking out

used to do it myself.
then use to have it with others.
and getting back to it myself.
a great run it was.
back to the same old place through the same old route.
how silly to keep going, not once but twice the way.
the shadow's moving, the person is moving, but the heart isnt.
i really miss running with lawlee!

irony.
half of me looking forward to post exam.
but not the other halve.
even at this period, emails are bombarding and i cant imagine how im going to cope with it next sem.
anticipated fears and tears.
im trying really hard to convince. to the extent of lieing to myself each day.
but i know the days will come.
no matter how ugly i am.
ive to do what im "unknowingly" supposed to.

insomnia is not bliss.
the taste of awaking is worse.
why a sudden change in effect.
drastic.

beats me

somebody else's business
where a listening ear
some hearty responses
a tight hug
and a smile
are all that i can give

sometimes u question "why me"
and before u ever know the answer
u're doing it again

coz youre the answer