Friday, October 14, 2005

acc for promo

after days of mental torture, finally gotten back all my promo examination scripts.
failed gp paper by 2marks. it takes up 60% for gp promo, so hopefully can pass after adding class assignments, participation and presentation.
merely passed chinese this time. just because of my essay! wrote wrong topic man. so pulled down my final mark.
ok. enough of my poor languages. talk on the better ones.
gotten an overall of ACC for promo. phew. common test in july was CEO.
hee. yea. great improvement.
A for mathematics, C for chemistry and biology.
felt best for maths and bio! didnt let mrs neo and ms leo down i guess. maths was kind of a surprise. i seriously thought the paper was tougher than ct.
i really tried hard for bio this time. managed to get a level pass. and its a c! happy for myself.
well, i thought chem was do-able because of the large percentage focusing on organic chem. hmm. but was really careless on the others.
brought scripts and passes back home. however, nobody cares.
for the fact that both my parents are not 'properly' educated, they dont understand how well i've actually done. frm the start of the year, i've been worrying for this. and in the end, i passed well. im so contented with my performance. and yet, they couldnt be bother. they just smile and nod when i announce my results proudly. i must've been silly tt time.
i know deeply inside how my aunts n uncles would congratulate me. but why arent my parents doing it. dont they know or try to know or realise or understand how important this promo is to me! can they imagine wad will happen next if i fluck all? i can just jolly well not study for them. why must i undergo such pain. and exhaust myself mentally.
the worse is when my dad said 'iya, daughters will get married off one day and leave their parents alone.' wad the .. ! i took the jc route because its the cheaper route to uni. i want to get into uni because i can earn more next time. and by doing so, i can lessen my parents burden financially.
parents are stressing their children? tt is so wrong for my case. they not only never stress me, they hardly care how well i do in school. well, sometimes they do ask, but do they know the importance of exams?! results?! that can lead to a totally different future that i'll be having!!
im constantly reminding myself to do well! im pushing myself! if i lose this force, im gone forever. i still need it. i need to feel appreciated. maybe i can try to get it from my tutors. at least i feel, they are more delighted, excited for me than them.
whatever, however much i grumble, life still moves on..

what's right or wrong

it felt so real. for the first time after so long. the signs were real, the feelings were real. the kisses were real. was it the right thing...