Guide me please

i'm the kind, who will just act like there's nothing wrong
act like everything is great
so that others will not be worried for me.

i'm the kind, who will just act like i don't care
act like you don't matter
so that i will suffer alone.

i'm the kind, who will always be there if you need me
and be away when I'm not needed
because i don't want to put you in a spot.

i'm really tired of doing these.
life is short.
and i need to live life to my fullest.

but how?