jianhong's leave.

waoh. finally im free from st john! haha.
saw van's leave application and decided to sign one too! that decision was spontaneous. no calculations or thinking twice was needed!
well. i went back tpss on friday reluctantly after sch. i was so un-eager to go and actually went to the toilet and waste some time there tieing up my hair neatly. then dragged my feets there very slowly. missing a few buses.
when i reached there, the feeling was complicating, confusing. i feel like i got no one, nothing to look forward to in the st john room (its where i'll first approach when i stepped into the sch). There is also no fun waiting for me. it was just so negative.
just as i thought, i feel so uncomfortable. even though fai, les, jz, xh were there.
im someone who needs friends to live. if u think im very dependent. that's true. i put my true friends on top of anyone (even family or myself). i admit that i continued my st john journey because of them as well. however, now that i dont see them coming for it (due to schwork and complicatedness of sj management), i choose to leave too. if i continue with this terrible feeling that i'm having, i might just hate sj one day. rather. if i take a break now, at least, i believe the next time im back for sj, i'll feel better and have more faith in it. its obviously time for me to hand over to my successors to do most of the jobs. and also, once a levels is over, perhaps my cliques will hav more time for sj too!
like i say, love those sj freaks! dinner with them at sakura was fantastic!! (joanna, chin, grace & van! too bad gela couldnt make it. if not, it'll be perfect!) not that the food was great, but the atmosphere was!! the laughters, gossips brought me back to my comfortest zone. that's why im so engross with sj. its bcoz of these mad ppl that i've met! (includes fat too!) haha.
alright. now i've friday all for school! hahaa!
and meeting u guys next sat yea!!
its the meetings/gatherings that i want! not sj.
=) well, of course, life in sj will be even worse w/o xh's batch & farhah's batch! love these ppl too!
stay committed though! but passionless.
oh no. just as i hate my birthday to arrive, my cousin's leaving for sydney again tonight (or tml's morning). hai. will only get to see him a year's time. sending him off at T2 later. he will definitely appear strong. but its tough. really tough to leave yr family friends country home. i hope he'll get on with his life there as soon as he reaches sydney's airport! goodluck!