tree living

expectations.
come with disappointment.

i dont know if its workable.
but im trying.
no matter what. i cant survive with current result.

all i want to be is to be a tree.

bye is never good

i don't want to say goodbye
by teddy thompson.
the melody is sweet. download it if you can.

ran again today.
super slow.
something is wrong.
was it the breathing, the legs, the muscles.
or the mind.
im so proud that my brother jieshen is picking up running!
should make it a routine.
its healthy. and i like seeing my weight drop. =p
and in uni.. i seriously need it.

i don't want to say goodbye
but it always still happens
as you say goodbye to me..
or worse, you leave without saying bye..

work on the heart

Badminton Girls! see me? The one with red head. hee!

















after regaining our energy from the 6k run on track, we went straight to src to support our handball golden team!
they didnt let us down. it was a tough match. with both halls cheering and playing hard. im sure they will do even better the next match!

match supporting followed by run again!
i would say, the most terrifying run i ever had.
but it was a good run experience.
so now i know that i cant run when im scare or worried. damn it. the legs were not listening to my command.
on top of that, theres a need to force a "im ok" and "wads ur problem" look to passer-by. just in case they try to be funny.
i thought endorphin work. usually it does. but it didnt this time round. maybe there were complications. maybe i used them up faster than producing them.

im still thrilled with my newly bought haivanas! thats after months of considerations.

take whatever that comes with a big heart
and problems will gradually be solved.

hows the effort

freaking sad.
strike 1 and 2 extra duties on cny and valentines day!
ugh. it wasnt a deliberate missing of todays duty.. somehow i just didnt see my name on the calendar.
ahh.. crap. my mistake. i deserve it.
its not nice for my head to let me off easy either.
=(

anyway. went to badminton match today.
sorry i didnt do well enough to play. but i supported in any ways that i can.
kind of disappointed to see the guys team in one jersey and the girls in another. shouldnt badminton team sheares be one?
an oblivion dividend was there at the mpsh. droplets of oranges at 2 corners of the hall. unaware of the situation.
where were the shearites anyway. haii. pathetic. even when the captain is from blkc.
shit. am i doing far too much again? spending time on hall activities..

but handball is tmr, chingay dance on thurs and fri.
and i enjoy it..

why no leniency! =(

how much we can do

how many people truly understands the hard work behind pieces of craft?
and how much you appreciate the performances?
well. its just unfathomable and probably unapprehensible.



















surely, the audiences will not be able to tell the details of the float. probably not even bothered to imagine it. thats so much for one minute of fame.
however, the fact is, its not the minutes of fame that im looking for.
but the meaning of the expressions, and the experience of the processes.
raggers, chingay comms, shearites, i feel for you.

its impossible to shape the world into what and how you want it to be.
so why not, try shaping yourself, to suit the world as it is.
thats a lot easier on the heart.

perspectives

went for first lecture of sem2 in 2008 at 6pm!

but of course, before that, quin and me made our sheltered way (was raining cats and dogs, tigers and lions, mouse and hamsters..) happily into munchie monkey for the well known chocolate brownie!

yes its this thing. worth the money. cheap nice filling!

then took shots using her new shiny phone.. kind of narcistic! hahaa. but had fun doing so.

during the lecture, we were showed a short clip on this man called clive wearing.

he was a renown musican. but sadly, he was struck down with one of the most extreme cases of amnesia ever recorded. A virus destroyed a part of his brain essential for memory. It's not only most of the past from before the illness that he cant recall. Its practically everything since then.

whats so different is that hes memory span is less than 7 seconds, according to what his wife, deborah said. he is not able to keep whatever has happened few minutes ago in his mind. he has forgotten his children even.

however, apparently, he remembers how to play his piano and how to conduct orchestra. he still possess his musical skills. but what i feel is the most lovely, is that he never forgets his wife.

Every time he sees her again, even if shes only been out of the room to make a cup of tea, hell greet her with a rapturous hug.

certainly, its very unfortunate for such a talented person to be suffering (apparently, his love ones are the ones suffering).

think about it on the other hand.

to have no dreams, and no thoughts at all. to forget whatever that has happened, and only to look forward to seeing your love ones.

no doubt clive wearing has no memory of how he used to spend his time with deborah, i believe he is delighted to build better ones with her. and as for deborah, who has to repeat things over and over again to him, has lots more to do, but should be glad that his husband still loves her as much, or even more.

i want to be able to look forward, and not back as well.

this wasnt wads on my mind

headaches come every sunday night.

seriously. am i suited to be in hall? hmm.

this pounding feeling just hit me whenever my mind tells myself im coming back to hall.

but there are times when i like the quietness of hall. yea.

the times when you really feel, you are alone. positively.

tmr's the start of year1sem2.

or its today since its now 2am.

well. im still proud to be in nus.

but as one rises higher, responsibilities get heavier too.

i dont know if i can do what ive kind of planned to do.
i dont know if i can persevere.

i dont know what will happen if i do not.

i dont know if i can take the consequences.
i dont know whats going to happen tomorrow.. and the day after.. and the day after..

so sometimes i just felt like paying that 20bucks to get my palms read.

know my future. know how everything might go.

save the trouble of planning, working, striving, hoping even.

but. does it make sense?

haa.

2years from now. i should be very elated.
that would be the last sem of my uni life.
i should be.
=)

epi has grown! its now 1.4cm long! and its growing still. i cant wait to see the flower..

took silly photos with quins new handphone. apparently. i think the lesson learnt is still, hear say see no evil.
though thats not very possible. =p

bitten. by.

theres so many things coming up.
like a new sem, a new beginning.
and that would mean new studies. ;)
not to forget, hall activities that keep me going.
blk initiation, supper, ihg (inter-hall games), .. and new neighbours!

just went to nus clinic. its free! for local undergrads. haa. idiot me.
well, doc said sleep well. =)
ahh. i wish. and i seriously hate counting sheeps..

i know separations are inevitable.
people enter and leave your life.
you graduate from one. you enter another. birth. death. hi. bye..
"again" makes a mark. but..
its not different. its just not the same anymore.

and i feel that people are leaving me more than me leaving them.

maybe im drifting.
but you will still find me at where i should be. ;)

a little more hopeful

received 2008 the first time in vivocity!
could simply be the last time too.

and the first fabulous stunt the 3 of us did was, to walk from vivo all the way back to nus sheares hall! at least 5km? a 1hr30mins road march. missed it without a doubt.

awared and bewared of many *toms&jerries, as well as, ah tiongs along the street.

had olio for dinner, and sizzling brownie for dessert!
fantastic. love brown. love choc!

*special code used.
















a small piece of news to be happy about.
epi grows a new bud!
see the little brownish green protuding thing? thats the best my 2megapixel can show.
im sure to present to u a better picture as it grew larger!


left with a significant mark