another world

everybody are dieing!
just look at the msn nicks.
"dead is the in word for today"
"tomorrow i'll die AGAIN"
"puke more blood and die"
..
exam stress. im so envy of my year4seniors. if only im left with "last 39 hours" as a student as well..
right now, i just can't wait to get out of it before i die too.
if it gonna come every 4months.
4 more times are enough to shorten my life.
who says you'll be safe once u reach university. only discovered that thats all a lie when im right here. u needa work doubly hard, doubly fast, doubly in content.. or three times as much.. or even four.. there's no "too much" in uni context.

once it starts, i knew its gona end vsoon.
applicable to all social situations?

going crazy over you

when they meet
besides the usual mouth-watering autonomic, involuntary actions.. what comes to your mind?

i prefer plain pancakes and plain donuts. the flour mixing is the key and not the sugar, syrup, cream, or chocolate that goes along.

i just knew the cravings are hitting me again! ugh.

tai-tai otherwise

exams are killing me. im drying! melting! wilting! =(
kopi has been supporting me all this while. wanted redbull.. but i scare fat! wahahaah! and those coffeeshop aunties always give me the 'you-drink-kopi-meh' kind of face. ughh.
so many things to get into my head. omg. my brain. my hippocampus specifically! ughh. more folds pls.
i cant wait for the trip to come! i need a breakkkk!! though the planning didnt come with ease, things basically fall into places now. ughh. did it secretly or rather, non extensively. but still, ha. thats why there's a saying goes "paper can nve cover fire" eh. yarh. thanks to our dajieda for assisting! and those who can make it!
and im seriously considering of "playing" hide n seek there! muahhaaa!! i dont want to come back!! let me hide!!!
i cant wait to goooo... far away from this pressurizing so-called cosmopolitan vibrant garden city.. where its people are slogging like pigs, fighting like bulls, and losing all the damn vitality just to keep afloat!
i want to immigrate!!! anywhere else thats different.

let me rear cows. do gardening. watch sunrise and sunset. fishing. watch the stars. everyday everynight.

the prawn-egg relation

this is kind of bothering me. i still feel the pinch even today when i recalled once in awhile.
im a traditional, very family oriented person. yet i hold strong grudges against my paternal relatives, who definitely no longer fit to be considered my family.
and this is absolutely an upsetting event. i could have never thought anyone could react that way, besides in drama shows. whatever criticisms i have for them, they still hold. until they prove me wrong, which im sure that day will not come. what could have possibly wake u guys up? not even when death comes along.
on the other hand, my maternal families are superb! i kinda miss all of them, since our last gathering just a month ago. hahaa. we're so close that we meet up very often. the cosyness, the love, fun, food, thoughts, whatever we share are just insatiable for this greedy traditional family-centred me. hahaa.
honestly, im willing to die for them even! so lovely selfless people they are. im sure my late grandparents feel(ing) proud. =)

dare to reach the highest, not in terms of cca points or room level ;)

merely a week ago, i was "soaked with hall love", and just as i thought it was so sweet and perfect, things turned pretty nasty.
08/09 room allocation exercise was carried out this week. it applies to those who attained sufficient points to stay in hall next year, and are generally high enough to choose. apparently, this seems like a simple chore to me. cliques definitely will want to stay together, so we can try to accommodate one another. basically, level isnt much of a problem. i believe differences your neighbours make are much larger than that of a sea view from your room. so albeit knowing broken relationships happened last year due to room allo, i was hoping that we can solve this in a peaceful manner, given the rules and quotas to meet.
somehow. the first night, i was proven wrong. the atmosphere in the lounge was so intense. everybody looked serious except me, who rushed in late, full with smileys and apology, and an incomplete project due the next day. very soon after rules were explained to us, arrows flew, granites and hiden mines exploded, all happened unexpectedly. and i was unknowingly wounded. so disheartened, so upset.
i dont understand why should anyone get pissed in the process. observing all reactions and responses, noting body languages, and speeches, i thought "this is a joke, but im the only one laughing". meeting ended abruptly with everybody looking stern and still. keeping conversations to themselves. truthfully, i tried my best to put my cliques together, without disrupting any other cliques. so after much discussions with the blkcomm, thanks to them, i found a way. but wasnt given much of a chance though.
well thankfully, the next day, there was a reason for me to smile again. i was so touched by the conversation with 2girls. their hearty, sincere, genuine speeches made me felt like crying, really. honestly, with what happened the day before right at the back of my mind, i have never thought this would happen, but it did. im grateful. i dont need apologies, i just need understanding. its never too late to realise. =)
although the meeting that night didnt end with a everybody-happy outcome as well, it was a less tense one. and indeed, the whole process kept me thinking.
im sure we all got to know each other better, in both good and bad ways. but that shouldnt deter one from being others' friend. shouldnt all of us learn to compromise?
there are some things in life that humans have little or no control over. for example, luck, fate, chance, destiny. it takes so much of such for anyone to meet, and relations to form. i see no reason to spoil. occasional disputes happen, but i strongly believe, two human brains are enough to solve.
despite suffering minor injuries, im sure blkc will be "living in harmony, working in unity" (slogen) soon again.

soaked with hall love

thats why sheares blkc is special

thats the last event for blk c 2007/2008!

though not everyone were around, i had my last moments with some favorable pals in sheares!

treasured. =)

the last run. the last drink. definitely.

this is for you

dont read.
dont respond.
dont say.
dont tell.
dont ask.

i thought u know. but u dont.

i really know. im just slow.

when can i say im sorry.
pls give me the chance, quickly.
i cant hold it much longer.
i felt so sinful just. its not the supper that i ate. but the content that i made.
i know its too late to say i know how you felt.
but wads more can i say. my apology carries my inner feelings, full of unsound atonement.
im really sorry.
maybe its payback time.

8yrs service

the master teaching them different ways of salutation! hahaa!

once again! this one last time, you see me in st john uniform!! haha.. well, its now definitely worn only for UNIFORM PARTY! yeah!!

sheares hall blkc uniform party was pretty fun! where most people turn up in their jc u instead of any uniform group uniform! and so tadah. since its a party, i made countless mistakes in my attire. haa. which is kind of nobodies' business anymore! =p

coloured hair (which i wanted to have eons ago)

unbun untied hair

folded sleaves

unfolded collar

unpolished boots

unbottoned (2buttons) shirt
even my senang diri looks weird! LOL!