blocking out

used to do it myself.
then use to have it with others.
and getting back to it myself.
a great run it was.
back to the same old place through the same old route.
how silly to keep going, not once but twice the way.
the shadow's moving, the person is moving, but the heart isnt.
i really miss running with lawlee!

irony.
half of me looking forward to post exam.
but not the other halve.
even at this period, emails are bombarding and i cant imagine how im going to cope with it next sem.
anticipated fears and tears.
im trying really hard to convince. to the extent of lieing to myself each day.
but i know the days will come.
no matter how ugly i am.
ive to do what im "unknowingly" supposed to.

insomnia is not bliss.
the taste of awaking is worse.
why a sudden change in effect.
drastic.

beats me

somebody else's business
where a listening ear
some hearty responses
a tight hug
and a smile
are all that i can give

sometimes u question "why me"
and before u ever know the answer
u're doing it again

coz youre the answer

to get use to

pulling it through.
just like have always did.

theres nothing to expect anyway.
just do.

say or show

to the tiniest beam of light that im still holding on
where are you directing me to
will there be an array of colours
which is imaginable yet never seem achievable
hasten the speed of light
before darkness starts domineering
when i not only lose you, but the world.

so fast 112299

on the very day.
my life has changed.
for better or worse.
9 years have shown.
unpredictable future. uncontrollable destiny.
follows me, carries me.
the scar that lives with me.

just wana say thanks to my family

cause i need what i want

make no difference in needs and wants.

i should

its only without hopes dreams and wishes, where disappointment wouldnt set in.

stop beating..

silent night

if only we can see, and know exactly whats going on at the other side of the world.
that will really cause much lesser misery and loominess hovering around each and every area filled with uncertainties and troubles.
if only we can exercise transparency and make every thoughts a see-through.
wouldnt that make the world more understood and less confused.

3mths left

last

im swearing.
right inside me.
as i sat there. stood there.
mindless. aimless.
wtf.

im feeling the change. do u?

haemorrhaging

it was so strong
into the eyes.
direct and without a trace of dishonesty.
overwhelmed of the unspoken.
hope that i can dig it out.
leave it farfar away.
so that im sure
there not exist, what i felt.

-no-


You're in my arms
And all the world is calm
The music playing on for only two
So close together
And when I'm with you
So close to feeling alive

So close to reaching that famous happy ending
Almost believing this was not pretend
Let's go on dreaming for we know we are
So close So close
And still so far

not secured

standing beside the line
the cold wind blows
the feeling of unknown and uncertainties frightens me
not prepared
to feel so alone
with the overwhelming thoughts of fear
to realise
i cannot be alone.

only then i know i wouldnt fall alone.