you built it yourself

heart ache.

year on year, achieved nothing.
future is bleak.

i miss you.

Merry Christmas

Christmas

In just 365 days, so much has changed.

Feelings changed. Place changed. Current changed. Future changed.

Please answer my prayers please.

Today, i met two very fortunate women.

How i wish i could be just as lucky.

I really wish, i am lucky too.

In this season of giving, i give thanks to the men in my life.

I thank you for being there as a support and letting me know that you guys care.

I am blessed after all.

Thank you my men(:

Merry Christmas.

#itsalotlikechristmas

I continue to pray for a better christmas next year

im sorry

interestingly
just over 1 night (or 2)
biological hormones work its way.

never dropped an eye before.
and i think we both felt the same.
then again, pretty sure its not lasting either.

its weird how God made us feel love.
but i really do need love i can call mine.

its hard to control
its hard to say no
and I'm upset because
i realise my principles weren't so strong after all.

Dear God,
Please bless me with blissfulness and happiness.

i miss you

period.

i leave

one year ago

everything is so different

right now, things changing again

i have chosen to leave because

i was afraid you will leave me first

its painful but i think its only right

and the only way to prevent

when it comes to the matter of heart

its uncontrollable

i secretly wish my heart die

i should not deserve to go through this over and over again

and to have myself doubting on myself

is it worth being so nice

heart

i miss you

when there is no meaning to life

give up.
totally. entirely.

this family no longer holds any value.
i've seen and been through enough.

this may not be the best solution, i've decided.

i'm giving up on all of you.
i no longer have a family and i don't need you.

let me go.
i pray to God.
take me away.

because i want to die.

thank you

thank God for secretly saving me
forgiveness was to free myself

today's his last day
the episode has ended hopefully

as i seek the same forgiveness
i didn't feel happy which i thought i would.

Thank you.


this is my last tear for you

let go

Let me let go

forgive and forget

i can do it

pray

i just feel the need to stop this
i don't want anyone to be hurt
no victims please
no one should go through this ever
please do something

not hurting anyone

"follow your heart. 

As long as you are not hurting anyone,

do whatever it is you need to do

to be happy."

not hurting anyone is key.

i don't want my happiness to be at the expense of others.

I'm sorry.

i really am.

please release me from this guilt.

knowing that i could dream about it only makes me realise how remorseful i still am.

till today.

its been a year.

everything just seem to be going downhill.

the more i blog.

the more negativity i have.

please.

let me go.

i miss having you.

who is real ?

we met. after so long.
and now. after all the broken heart.

i ask myself.
who can i trust?

who is genuine?

God said, i got to learn this myself.

in the hard way or either,
i need to decipher.

and I'm scared.

love is by choice, not by chance

when it comes to love,
i'm known to be positive.
i'm known to be strong.
i'm known to be talkative.

i really hope i have and did positively influence my friends.
love is just too magical to ignore.
i believe, and still believing, love is the closest thing to perfection.
i want my friends to have hope, faith and believe that one day, they can be the princess of their own fairytale too.
i can't explain why i have so much feelings for love. it's just a beautiful, loving and pure thought of falling in love. sometimes i feel like I'm a love angel :)

it is simply wonderful and magical it is for two strangers to come together, know each other, have mutual feelings, and CHOOSE to live their everyday with each other!
you chance upon a person. and you choose to love him.
love is a choice, not a chance.

isn't that beautiful enough?

i may not have much magical moments that sweep me off my feet,
plus im also a human and an emotional one,
i constantly remind myself to be positive, strong and speak about it.
if this doesn't work then another will.
someday, my mr right and i, will make the same choice.
and thats when i validate my belief.

a lot to go through in mind and spirit.
being a part of close family and friend's marriages does mess up my mind.
but, I'm ready.
ready to receive the challenge thats coming for me.
what could have been worst than missing you daily?

i choose to take it all as a lesson, an experience.
i dont blame you because i love you.
i miss you, i really do.

i hate myself, for still wanting to bless you in anyways i can.
standing at a distance, seeing you at a corner, i wish you all the best.

i miss you.

i really do.

maybe its the idea of having you.

maybe its my perception of you.

i teared and prayed.

i miss you.

there's no reason to everything

ended just as i expected.

no words to describe.

nobody to blame.

i was on the best self. the true self.

prayed for the days to stay.

prayed for the shooting stars to work.

prayed for the magic to work.

it all turned out only to be another joke.

i continue to believe in love, no matter how bad love is to me.

i continue to have faith, no matter how much setbacks you have for me.

because i know, someday, something kind will happen.

and will last.

I'm sorry, it has to be a sad ending.

nothing beats my effort and thoughtfulness for only you.

so let my tears bring them far far away. far away with you.

Breathe

please. give me a chance.
please. be gentle.
please. be nice.
please. 
can only hold on this much.

reality is too much to take.

for you.

the lesson learnt, is to not ask, not expect, not want and all will be fine.
as i laid beside, feeling a lil bit of bliss.
thats all i need to breathe.

life puts me through nightmare over and over again.
and i strongly believe its to make me learn the hard way.
tears may flow. heart may be broken. life goes on.
theres many other reasons to keep me smiling. 

after all,
practice (acting) makes perfect.

despite that, i still have the heart, that keeps you warm.
and thats just me.

you're lucky.