too responsible.

hey chuiyee! if u're reading my blog. haha. thanks for the photo! i had it!
thanks a lot! its beautifully taken, thats for sure! hehe.
still look good though it appeared a little small in it! =) THANKEW!
oh, nice envelope! looks new! haha.

i tried to convince myself that studying can be fun. making friends is a challenge. learning and solving problems are just part and parcel of wad a student does. but somehow, its not so easy. especially when im in this state- 8mths away from a levels!! gosh. 3 huge subjects to clear with fantastic grades and 1 largely important language to pass. grumbling doesnt bring me any closer to my success. yes. i better get back to form.

well. have been away from st john routine quite some time. in fact, i feel pretty useless now. as in unable to accomplish things that satisfy me. since most of wad i want to achieve, can only be achieved in st john. standing infront to lead is never easy. but im so ready to do it. however, back to class. haii. seriously, i hav been telling my best pals that i feel so MAN. im like a man in the class. the one to lead. to head. to push. to speak. why couldnt some guys impressed me with their leadership skills? not that im condemning them. im just so disappointed in them. wishy washy. irresponsible. muddleheaded. can't-be-bothered attitude.. honestly, i cant trust u. as the class rep, i've failed.
im just too responsible.

when

oh man. when will another happy day comes? hmm. that's bothering me when im day dreaming.

fac

another HAPPY HAPPY day! =)

i realised,
sometimes, a little thing that u've done made me smile.
while some other times, because of that little thing that u've done, im disappointed.
true right? =)

gamblers!

ohh.. so drained! have been studying/completing hmwk these days.. and my daily routine is just sleep, study, eat, watch television, study, sleep, eat, watch television.. oh my!! wad an unhealthy lifestyle!! its so tiring. brain exhausting. mind depleting. wadeva u name it..
tml is zone 8 first aid cum home nursing competition! going to cchsm. (finally out of house). will tpss win something this year? hmm.. well, hoping for one. but its all up to the competitors tml! goodluck to them. just do yr best and have lots of fun! oh.. i get to see pl too!! hee!!!
wad to blog about? hmm. my family is having some financial difficulties. shittiest thing that can happen to me. well, it does. i've one great grand uncle to take care of (erm, my dad taking care of him). and his expenses that cover 3meals, medical fees every mth, cigarettes, toto, 4Ds, horse betting add up to $800/mth! that is a lot! especially for the fact that my dad earns $1500/mth only? terrible right.. wad makes me mad is not the over all sum.. its the fact that he's spending excessively on meaningless yet harmful stuffs like gambling and smoking!! oh my.. i hate it seriously!! i cant stand heavy smokers and extreme gamblers! only such "intelligent" and "clever" people do that to shorten their life and extend their miseries! Is increasing of 4D prize a blessing or otherwise? oh my. i guess many out there has convinced themselves to think it is! so.. this problem led me to think.. is elderlys an asset or a liability? (its all depending on ur finance i guess) see.. so how to stop? persuade him is useless. persuade my dad might help. but he's complaining to me that if he doesnt gamble, then he'll lose that little chance of winning thousands over dollars. wad an excuse!! but that does shut me off. lost for words. my my.. if u win once, u'll hope to win twice.. then trice.. then every week.. everyday.. everytime.. but common sense is that that wont happen!! well.. common sense isnt that common after all.. so i was thinking how to solve the problem.. and my dad suggest that we'll sell my uncles' house.. so that we can at least sustain him for another (hopefully) 5yrs or more. and get him a rented room..
the best solution for now i guess..
unless.. we strike toto/4D today!
haha.. not again.. =P

ignite camp

attended a children social service camp for 2days kept me in bewilderment.
what are my objectives?!
that's a question i seriously regret not asking myself before going.
it was really a new experience for me after participating in so many st john related camps.
this is a camp without proper schedule, without rules and regulations, without authority, without hierarchy, without discipline! sounds terrible right. yes! that was it!
the first look at the 20 over primary 4-6 kids made me smiled benignly. they are just young, cute and mischivious larh! i thought.
but just after a few minutes, i doubted everything that i've said to reassure myself. making them assemble, asking them to keep silence, pushing them to work together, motivating them to participate actively, coaxing them to stop crying were not easy at all.
yes. did all that. successfully with the help of all fas members, especially my partners, kahhui and jingxuan. =)
our team, team1, pikachu was actually the winning team. but due to the lack of seriousness in rehearsing the last performance (gotten last for that event), over all the 3rd team out of 4. though kh and me were mad about it, thinking that the score system was a scam. we realised that its more important for the kids to accept failure than to celebrate success in life. hopefully they learnt.
our team leader, a p6 boy, soon kwang,is a borned leader! many people were inpressed with the way he gave instructions. so am i! but he still has a long way to go and lots more to learn as a leader.
another p4 boy, weichen, a sailormoon. sail off himself halfway through activities.
two lovable girls, charyn & xiao pei, very shy at first. but opened up after a few interactions.
a smart, obedient p6 boy, dornsen, with a identical twin, is very good at drawing! still remembers his drawing of pikachu on the team flag. beautiful!
lastly, a well known as chicken little, p5 boy, keng tai, is just so adorable! he looks really similar as that of chicken little cartoon! and even if i disturbed him by tieing up his hair with my hairband, he still happily posing for pictures! and he kept telling me "i can make people smile with my laugh. hehehee hahaa!" and i smiled. =)
honestly, i got pissed several times. and i thought why should i give myself so much pressure when i still hav st john to worry, school to stress. that's true. however, after all im still glad that i've found a new feeling there. and know a lot more about young children. luckily with zhengyi, jingxuan and hweechin (on phone) to accompany me. i managed to handle myself pretty well.
last night, took lots of photos. and sheryl, the 1st girl i know from the camp, a cubby girl from another team, came to me and said "leeling jiejie, can i take a picture with u? when are u all coming back? i'll miss you." oh my. melted. at that moment, i didnt know what to reply either. i thought i was just earning cip hours through this camp. haha! so sheepishly, i smiled and told her not to worry. she'll meet new jiejies and korkors in other activities that she go for. =)
well. obviously. i know my fas members better and met a few other volunteers like ken, jack too! not a wasted trip though my objectives were all in a mess!! haha..
(upload pics next time!)

happy day! snco finals

I' m so HAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY yesterday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nice day!

oh man. wad a busy week for me. but NICE!
im always a mediator in sec sch and here im one again!! and muhahaa!! i accomplished my job in just 2 days!? soooooo satisfying!! heee!!
aint im great? hehee! no larh, i just feel good when others feel good too!! haha! and its really wonderful to see you guys become friends again! hee.
SL though its really draining killing a few of us.. i guess it'll be a fruitful and meaningful one! after all, its community involvement programme through service learning! haha!! sounds convincing?
ok. tomorrow will be busy too! going bak sj for standard admin! and guess wad i've for the std2s! muhaha.. some really good interesting intellectual sensible activity!! u guys better love it! and learn from it!
then after that, having last last final final snco meeting @ HQ @ 7pm! wohoo! marks the last meeting for it!! shiok! so i'll be busy looking n listening to... muhahahaa!!! no larh! kidding! =P
oh, yesterdays cca exhibits! 12 J1 signed up for FAS!! that's good already! jus hoping more will turn up on orientation day!! oh yarh! we all wore our newly made FAS shirt! bright orange!! so cooL!!! haha! united seh! =)
yea! and im going tree top hill trekking with young kids and a few of my friends!! its a cip again!! clocking another 6hrs!!! yupiee!! im looking forward to a real nice graduation certificate! muheheee!!