unforgiven forgiveness

like what my friends said.
i dont forgive people easily. and even if time allows me to, i'll always remember his/her wrongdoings.

i told myself to forgive. gotten the $100. just go and buy an addidas jacket and get over it!
yea right. but i just cant do it! (not refering to the buying of jacket haha!)

whenever i sees you,
my eyebrows straightened.
my mind is blank.
my memorised notes lost.
my blood boils.
flashback of what you've done, angered me more.
i told myself "focus, focus."
again and again, i was unsuccessful.
im not blaming you for not giving me any additional help on my education.
and see what u've done to me!
all thanks to you if i fail.

wads sj for?

zc is just so superd!
he had rearranged and put tpss under the cluster incharged by pl!!!
wohoo! smart move sir!
hehee.
so looking forward to meeting him again!
in zone. in camp.. and on streets!
hahaa.
but how can i be in sj again?
it definitely takes me a lot of courage to step in.
i smiled at others. and said "nvemind."
is that true?
and graduates nve have easy lives in sj. just look around.
am i ready?
but still, for now, im convincing myself to continue.
for my passion. for my committment. for my love.

call 995

i love school!
yea!! going back for lessons is just so great!! i want more!! somewhat i feel weird with so few make-up lessons in june holidays!! hmm. i feel so happy to see my teachers mrs neo, ms lee, ms leo!! and my frens! let me name a few here, charis, alison, kit, teresa, zhengyi, kenneth, gina!!
staying home in just so crap!
im so lucky angela was free yesterday to share my woes!! pheww..
anyway, bought a shirt! 2 hairbands! ate haagendasz! shopped around! laughed! joked! just so fun larh!
though spent quite a lot, esp the ice cream!! one scoup for $5.20! haha.. we dine in anyway. haha but the money is worth spending!! i could have spent more, to make myself happier! =)
haha. at least i've found a way to release myself. that is to spenddddd!!! wohoo!~
the usual spendthrift me will not be normal on such occasions. hee.
so back at home? yea yea. i simply couldnt be bothered to speak! not even look at her in the eyes!
makes me sick and disgusted! arent u embarrass my dear?! if u're not, i am!
such a freak!! sometimes i just wonder whats going on in your mind! must be infested with worms man!! couldnt even think sensibly! and speak yr mind!! why? need me to look for some fortune teller ah? to guess wad u've to say!
its just such a disgrace!!
u know who u're! or maybe u dont, coz u cant even figure this out!

i dont wana stay at home!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
rescue me!!!!!!!!!

ffffffing

wtf.
even animals in over the hedge know wad family is. but my family doesnt!
selfish. unrepentant. incorrigible!
how the hell i get my good genes from! it must have skipped generations!
when it comes to handling problems or situations, they're just so muddleheaded!!
so everything throws back to me!
shouldnt children not interfere into adults' problems? this is crapz!
everyone is the house are weaklings!

rubbish bin

buzzz

oh man! im so looking forward to Alevels!!
muhaaha.. that's because snco camp (its a stjohn camp anyway) is right after that!!
and yea! guess who i can meet there.. muhaahahaaa... sooo sweeettt!~
haha! im fascinated!!
weee!~ camp is really busy. its stretches for 5days! with lots to accomplish on a single day!
not paid. not enough sleep. no comfortable beds. arrhhHH! wad the hell right! haha.. but well, that's the speciality of st john camps!
challenge yrself! =)

life is such a breeze~

undo

a folded piece of paper, will remain folded no matter how much u tried to unfold it, u will never remove the crease.

out to kill~

i've finally learnt how to liberate myself from the inhumane creature and its iniquities.
that it to laugh!
but seriously, if i have the opportunity and courage, i'll not hesitate to eliminate it from this earth. =)
well i dont think that my friends who i meet almost everyday in school deserve my blacken face right. actually we are a bunch of funny people! we've the most craziest aka big bully, kit! the english-pro, alison! the shopping queen with v.different perspective on issues, lowcharis! the cheena-pro, teresa! and of course the appear most studious, 'guai' girl but infact can be really evil at times, zheng yi! hahaa!! i shall not describe myself.. =)
today i just made a fool out of myself. well, having different frequency with them. we were all talking, then my blurred face appeared, they asked if i understd "yea yeah! u guys mean ...."! haha. my answer just knock them out! and they all gave me the "whack me plz leeling" look! LOL! damn funny with all the "3 strokes" coming down from the sides of their faces! hahaa! and of course, i've just convinced them that im slow huh? hahaa!
and oh my class, wohoo! finally, i've just told jl (assistant rep) that im going to hand him all the class rep duties! coz im so sick of serving the class for 6terms! i guess im kind enough to just leave him with 2 more terms, which is practically nth much to do due to exams. =)
just went back for st john on sat. its a jnco trainer/trainee briefing. woah. its been a vlong time since i step into st john era again. and this time, im there as practically nth larh. coz i didnt want to be a trainer for that camp. so im there to observe? supervise? and learn of coz! met many frens there.. so happy. tpss corps is dieing man! and guess wad! im not feeling any sad abt it! the best is it closes! wohoo! story ends with the departure of an incompetent person. and i heard tt pl and hw going for snco again!! this time with different postings! wohoo!! im really looking forward to it! hahaa!! bless me with a gd post! =) hahaa.. my fav snco, held in tpss, with my idols!! weee~ hahaha.. oh heard sumthg tt i guess i shouldnt know, from w. and gosh. the news didnt really shock me much. but it does to hc and g. hmm. more or less, i know wads behind the cunning culprit's mind. so its predictable larh. will have to start our evil plans after my exams! =) wahaha..
just dont know why, i met so many devils in this 18 yrs of my life. and they're still haunting me! so i'll wipe them all out one day!