tension of the opposite.

dedicate to that people i detest
"If youre trying to show off for people at the top, forget it. They will look down at you anyhow. And if youre trying to show off for people at the bottom, forget it. They will only envy you. Status will get you nowhere. Only an open heart will allow you to float equally between everyone." - MorrieSchwartz

now that we roughly know what our corps is doing to us. or rather, what the people in our corps is doing. we no longer need to try to coexist harmoniously.
the picture is getting clearer and clearer. and all that i care now is the kids and their future in stjohn, my teachers in charge, my corps future in zone.

as much as i know. we'll do what uve done. thats easy.

Happy New Year! i wish!

i thought i could perhaps leave this out of my mind for a day but! this morning, the straits times caught my attention once again!
damn it!
i thought the Eight logo is great!! It uses interpretation of the no. '8' to form the letters.
if only im more talented! i would have a better time designing one.
anyway, wana wish a HAPPY NEW YEAR to my love ones!
seeing all of u next yr! =)

next year will be a better year.

i loathe this so much!

so all i can do now is wait.
wait for peoples' reply.
wait for photographs.
wait for powerpoint slides.
damn it! i was multi tasking just and now all i can do is to wait.
and even a minute of resting makes me feel weird all over. and i decided to blog.
albeit wanting to finish my book, and finish the drama series, im still waiting for responses online!
dreaded.

fac training has been tedious for me. i realised how impatient i am still after a year of leave. its bad larh. i know im not supposed to flare, or even a little mad with the kids. but i just cant help it!

packed the training cupboard after fac training. had this 'finally the cupboard belongs to me' feeling. the swagger stick, the stjohn n state flag, the leisure camp, jnco camp files, the fa manual, the fa notes, nominal rolls blah blah blahh.. are mine!
its not the materials that fantasize me of course. but the responsibility of being a training officer. i guess everyone knows da importance of training. its as though the education of the cadets are partially in my hands! (it depends on themselves and their instructors too)
i know ive a lot to do.

and im still working on my logo. damn it. im left with one last chance for my sis to use photoshop for me. and im so sure the next time i need to pacify her more! omg. wad a choice ive made. im still not prepared for negative comments to fall on me. well, thats always tough to swallow. esp after the effort put in. im shot.

im left with 1day before 07 begins! and ive still lots of st john work undone! omg. dont mention work! i haven't even start working! only when can i start working? i still have std3 course to go for. workplan to assist in. logo to build on. fa powerpoint to check. instructors to groom. fac to train.. omg!
and i havent even have time to reflect on 2006 and ponder about my aims in coming 2007!

once again. my nov and dec have been dedicated to my dearestest stjohn.

i dont wish to pass newyr while doing some st john stuffs.

enough of my complains. people, just render ur service.

thoughts

well. spent quite an effort in designing my corps logo for our corps shirt. and really thanks to my sis for using photoshop for me, i was pacifying her all the while.
however, i rejected my design. i guess the logo has yet to show me what tpsjab has.
pretty upset. but im not beaten! =)
im coming up with another one! and hopefully, my sis is in a goooooody mood again when she returns! ha!

just my sketches.. not too bad huh..
ok. i told my sis to type 'My CORPS, My Pride' and look wad she typed! haa! we had a great laugh over it larh! then she added, tampines sch corpses! hahaaa.. wth! damn it! but i thought its funNY! ha!

Ok. so this was wad ive decided on earlier. well. not exactly bad larh k. but its just not right yet!








FAC training has been really upsetting! damn! i guess hweechin and i tried real hard to not feel that way. but still, today we conforted each other. ha. i really hope weve the strength to carry on. if the cadets are working hard, i dont see any reason for trainers not to do so as well. its indeed disappointing to see that happening. but hweechin and i will strive on! so will our FAC teams!!
FAC TRAIN!

just came back from my JC gang gathering! wohoo! its really sweet to meet up with them! and its terrible to know that they're all working except me! damn! and until now, ha! they still couldnt understand why am i involve in this voluntary organisation! and i can tell from their faces that they're just bored with what im doing for st john!

SURPRISE!

Its a birthday surprise for vanessa! i really find our ideas for birthday surprises are damn GREAT!
woke up at 5am to travel to van's house!!
angela hweechin me moved discretely to her front door, waiting for her to open the door.
damn! she's late! so anyway, we waited. quietly and anxiously. the moment she steps out of her gate, HAPPYBIRTHDAY VANESSA! hahaa!
she's shock! real shock! and ta-dah!! we present her the mudcake-muffin-looking birthday cake! wohoo! the whole experience was awesome! we rated it an eight star (out of 10) birthday surprise! hahaa!

This is the birthday cake! home-made by angela and hweechin! its a totally chocolatey fudge cake! its their first time, and i thought its good! can you see the words above?! haha! its their creative idea, using m&m chocolate to spell out 'HAPPY B'DAY VAN'. they got no space for a 'P', that's why a P is some sort of flying above! hahaa!!
they're now considering to work on other cakes such as cheeze cake, fruit cakes etc.. am i having one next year? hee!!
oh! i didnt join them for the cake making. so i made a powerpoint slide show for her! i guess its super touching larh! i could feel emotions running through me as i put all the pictures up! with music some more! its full of our memories, i hope she'll like it! so after all the DIY, we only manage to sleep at 1am..

We tried to cut the cake out but its just too hard! so see, our hands trying to DIG a piece for van!


Erm, u got to turn your head upside down to see this pic! yea. its taken using hweechin's hp. not too bad larh. we had a great laugh over the timer! damn! we got cheated by her phone!

then, van need to rush to katong for her service. and its just 8am. so wad angela chin n me did was.. to sit at the bus stop and chit chat! (or bitch, or gossip u call it) haha! marvelous! can u believe it! we chatted for 2 long hours until it was 10am and we took bus 34 to IKEA!
champ! i guess we just love each other's company dont we? hahaa! its angela's first time there, so i sort of like bring her around! and the worse thing is, she had an idea of playing hide-and-seek there!! damn it!! both of them tricked me! omg! then when there's chance, we tricked chin too!! haa. we're really mad. and so, angela doesnt dare to leave at least 3 steps away from us! hahaa. afraid dat we're doing the same to her. well, she'll have her time! muhahaaa.. revenge!
so, excited we are, took pics, ate swedish meatballs, hotdog bread, roamed around the megastore, went over to courts too, and waited patiently for the free shutter bus! tts silly! could've taken a cab instead since there's 3 of us.

alright! we've a spendid christmas eve huh. excited for christmas celeb tmr with my extended fam! MERRY CHRISTMAS people!
love ya!

yea right

i realised its never good to receive hweechin's phonecall!
yesterday she woke me up at 1230 to inform me to reach tpss at 130 for fac foot drill training! gosh. so i tried to pull myself out of bed and look at my foot drill sequence sheet. yea the one that i was given when i was sec3! crumpled and old..
and the best part is, i've already forgotten quite a few of the drills!! trying to recall the drills and commands, i called up ben and sze ling for help! i guess we've all forgotten the drills huh. hahaa.
gobbled up 5 tang yuan and got daddy to drive me to school! and its just so unlucky, on the way, we met the damn guy i hate! so i pointed out to daddy to run him down! muhahaa. no larh! its just suay to meet him! duhhh.
ok. i was dressed down by daddy when he knows dat i didnt want to go. was it my stupidity like wad daddy said? daddy pulled me out of my comfortable cacoon and ask wads the point of continuing if i dont want to improve! mummy asked me to quit then. this question or rather a problem has been bewildering me eversince i mentioned it to daddy. damn!
after much thought, i finally made up my mind to go. ive to work on it. i still wish to help out in snco. i want to get fdi gold! i want to be a cpr instructor! i still want to be a stjohnian!
like the motto of tpjc, aim and achieve! to bring success in all our learning.
so, daddy, im doing this for you too! =)

as for my dearest frens who are quiting, or considering to quit, perhaps just consider once more. there's so much to learn in stjohn that u probably wont be able to achieve anywhere else. and i sincerely wish to see u still in stjohn.
huiying and szeling right? angela and hweechin too!

im on the right of this pic!!! but the damn camera just hates me larh! took several times w/o me inside the pic!! even if i hold the camera!


ok. so after many many many attempts.. finally! i squeezed my face into this pic! damn it man!
but well, this pic turns out good larh! with the xmas tree behind. but guess where we were! hahaa..

right. im off to work on my training schedule already!

happy BElated bday hweechin!

who's bday!?
Ma'am huiying's idea of getting hweechin to get the candle holder out from the cake! hahaa.. its evil.. but i like it!
so ta-dah!! look how happy she is after getting that out! then we quickly cut the the piece of cake out! with her saliva man! hee!




we gave hweechin a birthday surprise!! during socialnite! its a celebration after one mth and 2days from her actual bday! ha! thanks ma'am huiying for luring her away while we prepare! im starting to think that im a really creative person! muhahaaa!!
Look! muhahaa! this is to prove that logistic is really working! i mean my ncos are larh! hahaa! i was laughing away when they tried to count the no. of raffia strings, poles, plastic cups, forks, spoons etc! muhahaa!!

this is logistic after 14km route march from tpss to east coast park!
Once a Log, forever Never gona be in Log!
;)