i pray. to end all these.

i pray. i pray and i prayed.
i pray to God for love, for happiness, for peace.

yes they may be right that i don't have to bear this all.
i don't have to worry, i just need to do what I'm needed to.

is that true?
i can't be selfish and care only about my own happiness can i?
i can't be short sighted and care only about now and not future can i?

i really don't know how to enjoy.
i really don't know what to do.
i spend so much time and effort contemplating even the smallest little family issue.
at the end all i get is, to let go and take it easy.

have i been taking it too much on myself?
am i to pity myself now?

i really don't know.
everything simply so pointless now.

honestly, if i die tomorrow, i die with no regrets already.
please God, let me go if thats easier.

every step i take is like a battle to fight.
I'm losing faith and losing strength.
i don't know what to do and how to do it.
for 28 years to be, I'm still on the same spot.

i don't want to live anymore.
i have had good friends. i have had great buddies at work. i have had superb bosses.
I'm contented and i cannot ask for more.
i love work, i love my colleagues, i love my friends more than anyone else.
and for that, i thank God for them.

with these, I'm proud to say, I've lived.
thank you and good bye.

take me away please.